I was in fifth grade when I officially declared I wanted to be a fashion designer.
For our yearbook that year we had our own mini “bios” if you will, about what we wanted to be when we grew up, along with what our favorite activity, color was–or something along those lines. But, for what I wanted to be when I grew up–I had no hesitation of what to list.
I can’t recall the exact time that aspiration faded but, looking back now, I am happy I didn’t pursue that dream. Nothing against fashion designers–hell, I love fashion and give designers MAAAAAAJOR credit for all the hard work and effort they put in to making fabulous clothes, shoes and handbags. No, nothing against them at all. I just eventually realized I didn’t have the creativity, passion or even patience, to continue pursuing it.
After that dream fizzled out, my next and current dream was to write for a magazine. What magazine you may be wondering. Why, Cosmopolitan of course. I have loved that magazine for as long as I can remember. And again, I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I knew I wanted to be a writer/reporter/journalist in general, but, I would say it was definitely solidified in high school.
I wrote for the school newspaper, Ramparts, and at one point served as the Opinion Editor. It was a blast. I loved writing for the newspaper then and continued that line of work in college, where I wrote for Central Michigan Life as well as Grand Central Magazine.
However, now that I’m graduated from college, going on almost two years, I can’t help but sometimes wonder when my dream of being a full-time writer/reporter/journalist will come true. I know I shouldn’t but, I find myself constantly comparing myself to others– especially those in the same field, and wonder, why isn’t that me yet?
It’s a struggle from time to time, more often than not, but, thankfully through this blog and my work at HOMTV, I know that when the timing is right (hopefully by this summer), I’ll have landed a full-time job in my field. It’s tough though–I’ll talk to people outside of the news industry and when I tell them my ultimate career goals, they give me this look–probably not meaning to make it look so obvious, but nonetheless it’s still there–like why on Earth would you want to be a journalist? The news industry (specifically print, which is my main and ultimate career goal) is dying, they say. As if I haven’t heard that before… Right?
Anyway… I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger and I don’t recall anyone trying to talk me out of that dream (now granted it was only fifth grade but still–if I said that now I would actually hope for someone to talk me out of that one, ha!) and so why now that I am an adult, and spent five years in college studying journalism, do people want to essentially tell me “good luck getting a job” with that degree? It’s not that person’s dream so why do he or she feel entitled to tell me my dream/degree sucks? I think some other people’s dreams suck/are stupid but, I don’t go around telling them that to their face. It’s none of my business, and if it makes them happy, then great!
My point is, my dreams I had for myself when I was younger are different than what they are today.
In fact, while at this very point in time I think I have my hopes, dreams and goals all figured out, the truth is, I really don’t. I think I do, but, only God knows what the future holds for me. What I want and what I actually end up doing could be totally different. Although, obviously, I hope my dreams come true. Not just for my professional career but in the personal aspects of my life as well.
For example, my dream is to be a reporter for a print publication. But, my internship position right now is a TV reporter. That doesn’t go to say I’ll only apply for print jobs when I’m finished with my internship–I’ll of course apply for all and any kind of journalism/news job–but, what’s most important to me is that I am happy with what I am doing. And yes, this internship is an awesome experience. I’m so thankful I was given the opportunity to do it. I have great bosses, co-workers; they want us interns to be successful and will answer any and all questions we have. And trust me, I have a lot of questions. LOL. I am learning so much that I can’t wait to apply to future jobs and show potential future employers my demo reel I’ll have made at the end of this semester.
But, if I’ll actually end up at a TV station once my internship is complete, I’m not sure. I tend to stress and worry too much about the future when I can’t control it–only the present–and it’s something I need to work on more. I would love to actually know and be people to share with the world that yes, this is what I will being doing come May, but, the truth is, I don’t know. I would love to say yes, I will be a reporter at X location, living in Y location, but, the future is unknown. And that’s both exciting and scary. More often scary than exciting but, still.
Right now I can only focus on continuing to better myself as a reporter and become more confident in my on-air ability and interviewing skills. After all, those are pretty darn important as a reporter.
So, instead of focusing so much on the future, I’m going to try my best to focus my mind on the present. And if anyone has any tips or advice on how to stay focused on the present and/ or improving my skills and abilities as a reporter, I would love to hear them. I am all ears.
Or, perhaps a suggestion for a hobby–other than blogging (*although, I really do want my blog to take off and be substantial enough to where people who follow and read it, are genuinely interested in what I have to say. So, please, bloggers/writers/etc., send me some topics to blog about; I would GREATLY appreciate it) and shopping (ha!), let me know.
Until next time…