Month: April 2020

Hello, it’s me…

Remember me? It’s been over a year since I last published a blog post on here, and who knows since the last time I even visited my blog to make sure it wasn’t hacked or something and there weren’t embarrassing photos of me circulating on the internet.

Oh wait, that’s all of my pics. Ha. Kidding.

Well, so, where the hell do I even begin? The last blog post I talked about how I had handled the anniversary of my breakup with my previous boyfriend and how life was going at my latest job, Jackson National.

Flash forward to 2020… and here we are in the middle of a pandemic. The me a year ago could have never saw this pandemic. No one could have. But, back to that in a minute.

Let me first catch everyone up on what else happened in 2019 prior to shit hitting the fan in 2020. So, life happened as it was supposed to, I guess. Nothing too exciting that I at this very moment can think of. Part of it is, now that we are all on quarantine and I am working from home, all of the days are turning into one big blur. So, pardon me for not remembering all of 2019 now, lol, and for any spelling/grammar errors that may appear in this post. I’ll write now, edit later. Bear with me, too, I am writing this post being as basic can be with a glass of wine to the of my laptop.

Ah, yes, laptop. Why of course, yes, I do have a beautiful, brand spankin’ new desktop in my office in my HOME that I could certainly being utilizing, but, seeing as I spend 37.5 hours, sometimes more already outside of work, in that room and on that desktop, I figured I would set up shop in my kitchen at table on my old laptop, which is really only good now for Zooming with friends.

Anyway, 2019 highlights included… me turning 29, woo, last year of my 20s; the birth of my latest niece, Minah; celebration of my sister and cousin’s 45th birthdays up north, which, honestly, was probably the highlight of my year because it was THAT fun; holidays, etc… the usual. And obviously, totes more, and if I forgot anything else spectacular, I do apologize.

And… a new relationship bloomed! Whoa. Huh. What. Who? Me? Who would have thought? Yes. The start of what would become official Jan. 4, 2020. 😉 Yes, I decided to quit feeling sorry for myself and realize that what my family and friends have told me all along is that a) I do deserve someone great and will find said person and b) that I will find that person when the time is right.

Well, it turns out, I had found him back in 2016, when I started my job at The Argus-Press. Sports editor. Sat right across from him. But, we didn’t become official until much later. Too long of a story that I am sure my boyfriend does not care to have me re-hash on social media.

Anyway, let me tell you, my heart has been on a whole other level since such a great human being really made me realize that good guys do exist out there and that I am worthy of one. And man, without even trying or wanting to, he turned me into a big sap. A big puddle of mush that always gushes about him any chance I can get.

But hear me out, to each their own. For y’all that have followed me on this blog for awhile know that most of my blog posts have been about the demise of my previous relationship and the aftermath of it. It took me awhile, a long while, to get over him.

Looking back now, I feel silly I let myself feel so down about how and why things ended, but, everything happens for a reason for me, it ultimately did help that I let myself feel the grief, if you will, of saying goodbye to a relationship on someone I fell in love with once long ago.

Of course, now slightly older and feeling more wise, I to this day do not regret my past relationships. Did I contribute to us breaking up? Certainly. Honestly, I felt a lot of insecurity, some of which I still unfortunately feel today, that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of the guy I was dating — even though, in hindsight, our relationship was often tumultuous and probably wasn’t the best slate for basing my relationships on moving forward.

But, again, not bashing my past relationship(s). I thank those men for teaching me that he wasn’t the one. And that I wasn’t the one for them. Was I hurt/devastated/angry/sad when we broke up? Oh, yes. But, as time has gone on, I’ve learned it takes much more effort to be mad and dislike or even hate someone than it does to simply forgive them and move on. So eventually, I did.

I forgave him. I forgave myself for acting the way I did, but also forgave myself for allowing myself to think that that’s who was meant for me.

Flash forward to this relationship… It’s going to sound so cliche, but, I really feel like the happiest girl in the world. And, here I am turning into a sap, yet again — or maybe it’s the red wine I’m finally feeling — haha — but, I do sometimes feel like it’s a dream because, how on Earth could I snag a man as wonderful as him?

I won’t bore you with the mushy details of why I think my boyfriend is all of that and a bag of chips, although, if you really want to know — go check out my Instagram — that’s where I post my occasional “boyfriend brags,” lol. Sorry, Ryan!

Moving along…

Back in November 2019 was my one year anniversary at Jackson and coming up in just a few weeks on May 4, 2020, (oh, May the Fourth be with me! LOL) will be my year and a half anniversary. It truly amazes me how fast my time has flown by at Jackson. I guess it’s true, time flies when you’re having fun. I really have enjoyed my time working at Jackson and becoming good friends with my coworkers. I am happy to be back working and living in my hometown, which brings me to latest update from 2020…

As of January 31, 2020, I became a first time homeowner. Can you believe it? Yes! I looked at houses for couple of months, not too many, but, then I finally found the one meant for me. And now, more so than ever, am I relieved my realtor was able to make magic happen and have me close when I did because otherwise, my house hunt would have been put on hold for who knows how long due to the current pandemic.

It was an interesting experience. I looked on Zillow a lot for houses within my price range and it seemed as soon as I found one I liked and texted my realtor that we were interested, the next day it was sold. It was crazy. But, at least I found one and closed one day and literally moved the next day. I still have long-term projects to work on — the main one being painting, with the help of my dad and grandpa, etc. when the stay at home order and lifted and things can return to normal — or, our new normal. My dad talked about remodeling my kitchen, but, my mom and I don’t hate it nor feel it needs it so, we’ll see if that is actually something that happens. I am also trying to find a new couch to buy for my living room that won’t cost me a freakin’ arm or a leg, as well as eventually a new coffee table and entertainment center for living room. Other items I would like longer down the road are to buy a day bed for my guest room and to finish the now partially-finished basement. I’m sure between now and who knows I’ll find other, smaller, but still important things I want to accomplish, but, truth be told, I’ve been successful in making my house feel like my home as much as I could so far.

Of course, being a homeowner comes with its own set of challenges, which, in all of my almost 30 years I haven’t had to deal with personally, lol. Like: mowing my lawn; shoveling snow in my driveway and sidewalk — woof; changing my address on my license; updating all of my mailing/billing addresses for banking info/credit card; myriad other things. It’s been a learning curve. And thankfully, I guess thankfully, the weather here has been so back and forth that I haven’t had to worry too much about mowing my lawn but, now we’re at a point where, well, I need to get myself a lawnmower ASAP. Baby steps. Also, if you know of any local lawn care places that can hook me up once the stay at home order is lifted, let your girl know. 😉

Well, I guess that’s all for now. Outside of work I’ve been watching TV, Netflix; Zooming with friends and family; drinking wine; napping; coloring; keeping my therapy appointments via telehealth, which has been detrimental to making sure I don’t lose my mind by being cooped up inside. No shame in sharing that and I believe more people should be more willing, if able to, give it try if needed. #MentalHealthMatters #MentalHealthAwareness

P.S. If you have any additional ideas outside of the ones I’ve posted above about how I can make sure to not lose my sanity during this time, leave a comment below. 🙂 Thanks in advance.

Anyway, until next time…

XO,

Anamaria