The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but building on the new…

As we’ve all been waiting for April 30 so we could post the N Sync meme about it’s gonna be “May,” at last it is here.

As always, I tell myself I should and want to keep up with this blog better but as a reporter, sometimes (usually) when I’m done at work I just want to take a nap, not write more, ha.

But, I realized it’s been a couple months since I last posted anything new so I thought I would do so today because new things have gone on in the past two months.

Finally feeling more “moved on” and OK with my previous break up. April 13 marked six months since it took place and among another thing or two, I realized enough was enough. I needed to quit dwelling on what was. I definitely (well, for the most part) don’t regret things in my past because I am a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason,” but, like I said, it was time to move on. Everyone moves on and heals from a heartbreak in a different amount of time and I am no exception.

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Eventually, I meandered into the online dating world via Tinder and while I had some conversations with guys, they were typically fairly short and fell flat, unfortunately. Some might argue I am too picky, but then my closest, best friends remind me time after time that I should never settle and that someday some guy will see how fabulous I am and think I am worth it. And so that’s why I don’t settle. But, until then, I have to go through the process of dating “frogs,” and at times that can be a lot of work.

Why, you may ask?

Because, I’m not in a position where it’s as easy as it used to be like when I was younger to meet people. I live and work in a small town, and it’s still working on attracting younger people to the area. So, most of the time my searches on Tinder have been for guys near my hometown or other areas, which are at least 45 minutes away. It’s definitely not the worst case scenario, especially considering my last boyfriend lived an hour away from me, but, still. Slim pickings.

Plus, the previous guys I’ve dated have been friends of mine–that’s how we met and got to know each other–so trying to get to know a complete stranger right off the bat can be a challenge. For some reason, it really is quite strange, at least for me, anyway, to meet people because… my job is all about talking with strangers and getting to know them. But, like I’ve said to people before, it’s easier in my professional life versus my personal life. That, and because I consider myself a fairly shy, reserved person outside of work (well, I guess even at work, too, but not quite as much) I tend to not open up as quickly as the guy does and then he’s  likely left thinking I am not interested… that, or they just think I’m weird, lol.

And plus, what are the “rules” when it comes to dating? How long am I supposed to wait to call or text a guy? How long before we have “the talk” about being exclusive? Are there even rules anymore? I mean trust me, I’ve seen enough rom-com movies and the entire Sex and the City series, but, that’s fictional. This is my real life and I’m smart enough to know that what works in TV or movies doesn’t always translate well to real life.

So, I’ve decided I think I just need to take a break, and listen to my family and friends again like they’ve told me time and time before, to not go searching for love, but let love find me. (I personally think it’s super cliche but, I know they all mean well, lol) Well, I’m trying to let things happen that way but, I have to be honest, it can be hard sometimes—especially when I’m constantly comparing myself to others and wanting to be where they’re at in life… i.e. married, having kids, living in a house, etc. etc. Something I am working on for sure. Plus, I know that realistically, my job is going to come first for me until someone really special comes along. Then, they’ll be equal… or close to it. 😉

The truth is, I’ve been single long enough both from this most recent breakup and my one long before that that I can be content with being single but I don’t always want to be. Ya know? There are times when I go stir crazy at my apartment because I have no one to talk to. Of course, a boyfriend isn’t the only person I could potentially talk to, which brings me to another point…

I’ve lived here for just more than a year and for whatever reason have struggled to make friends. Yes, I meet new people every day but again, that’s in my professional life. I have to remember to differentiate who’s going to be my professional contact and who can be a personal contact. Usually, it’s best just to have a professional contact. Plus, like I mentioned earlier, there are still many young people that have yet to venture to this town and lay down roots. Because most people here are either people who have lived here forever, and typically older, or families with young children… so it’s like where am I supposed to fall in between all that? You see, it’s not always as it seems to make new friends versus acquaintances.

Aside from that, over the last two months…  I’ve gotten to see my cousin and best friend who are dating close on a new house… my other friend is seeing a new guy… I’ve started taking a new FDA-approved appetite suppressant, which as a result as helped me lose some weight over the past three, almost full four weeks I’ve been taking. Now granted, I still need to work on and focus on actual dieting, say such as Weight Watchers, which I am actually signed up for (oops), but, I have cut back significantly on pop, which, is a huge deal for me. I’ll try to have one here or there but it’s gotten to a point now where I can have a sip and then be instantly disgusted. It seems as if somehow my taste buds changed, and with coffee, too! Who would have thought? I actually am almost freaked out (lol) by that because I looooove coffee, so the thought of no longer being interested in is crazy. CRAZY!

I learned while taking this medication that I am going to focus more on how my clothes fit rather than rely on the scale since I didn’t weigh myself before and record it. If I had to guess, I would guess I’ve lost about 6-8 pounds, give or take. Of course, I’m part of Facebook support groups for this medication, which has been nice (for the most part) but then I see people posting about how they’ve lost like 40 pounds in two months, which discourages me. Now, again, I could have likely lost much more than I have in these past few weeks had I been more strict with my eating habits but your girl just loves beer and wine… and fast food. *sigh* BUT, I have noticed that I am not eating as much as I used to when I order food, which is nice/a good sign. My goal, with a new month having just started, is to hopefully lose about 22 pounds by my niece’s wedding in mid-August. If I truly work hard enough, I know I can get there so, keep your fingers crossed for me and if you feel compelled to, feel free to send some encouragement my way. 🙂

Other than that… Work is going well. I am really enjoying my time working and living here and have met some pretty great people through stories I’ve written. I’m happy it’s May because that means my birthday is next month. Towards the end, but still, lol. I will be the big 2-8. Crazy. I am getting closer and closer to 30… which, I think is in part why I am constantly comparing myself to others because when I was younger I always pictured myself being married by the time I was 26 and well… that didn’t happen. But, I am reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and in its own, right timing.

So until next time…

XO,

Anamaria

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