The first step to living the life you want is leaving the life you don‚Äôt want…

Happy New Year, readers!

We’re two days into 2019 and I thought with the kick off of a new year, I’d share some highlights of what I’ve been up to lately and my goals/resolutions of sorts that I have for this year.

So the last time I blogged was back in October, right before the one year anniversary of my breakup with my ex-boyfriend. It came and went as expected; I believe I went out the night of to distract myself and have fun. I tell ya, and I know I’ve said it countless times before, but I wouldn’t get through the tough times without my friends (OK, and of course, family, too).

Anyway, the day came and went and I always kept thinking about the day we broke up and the time we spent dating in the back of my mind every now and then, determined to finally get over him and the situation. Of course, like I’ve also said countless times before — that’s much easier said than done.

After that came and passed, I didn’t spend too much dwelling over it because, well, I had something very, very exciting to look forward to — a new full-time job! I was offered and accepted a position at Jackson National Life. The position is totally opposite of my former job as a reporter but let me tell you, I absolutely love it. I am so beyond happy and was absolutely thrilled to have been offered a position in my hometown, something that has always been my goal. Saturday marks two months since I started working there and I am so beyond eager and excited to see what the next 10 months (until my one year work anniversary) and beyond hold for me. I have a feeling it’s going to be great.

In addition to that, I spent my holidays with all my loved ones, family and friends — my friends and I did a friendgiving dinner and Christmas party gift exchange, which my cousin and his girlfriend — my best friend — were gracious enough to host at their house.

Soon enough the new year was here and right before it arrived, I met up with my ex-boyfriend.

*Cue the silence*

Yup.

We both got invited to a mutual friend’s going away party and before I knew it, we agreed to meet up beforehand for dinner.

Let me tell you how I felt…

Well, at first, I was honestly speechless. After having not seen each other for more than a year and barely talking on social media outside of that, I wasn’t sure how to feel about meeting up with an old flame.

Alright, so maybe I did. Honestly, albeit maybe even a bit (or a lot?) pathetically I had dreamed/imagined about what it would be like if we ever saw each other or hung out with one another. I tried my best not to give it too much thought, though, sort of, because based on the few conversations we had had it just didn’t seem like a likely scenario.

But, cue to the week before the party and we agreed to meet right before the party the day of. Honestly, I tried not to hold my breath because I just had this gut feeling tell me things would fall through. But, as the day of the party approached, he messaged me to ask if I still would like to get together. I did my best to play cool (lmao) and agreed. But what would we do — coffee, drinks, dinner?

I had already had a coffee shortly before we met up so we agreed on dinner. The next question was, though, where would we go? I being the indecisive person I am, let him decide and of course he just happened to pick my favorite restaurant. Not sure if he even knew that, but I was both thrilled and confused as to what, if anything, it meant. Although, based on how things went into the night and next day, I don’t think it meant much, if anything.

We agreed to meet at the restaurant and I arrived early, texting my friends I felt sick to my stomach. Why? What was I so nervous about? Oh, I don’t know because I was going to see my ex-boyfriend who I hadn’t seen in more than a year and didn’t end on the best terms with at the time. I really didn’t I think could do it. Yes, me, a grown ass woman (who deep down knows I don’t need a man and shouldn’t be freaking out over an old flame) was panicking about how things would go. How would we greet each other? What would we talk about? Would we even talk at all or simply sit there awkwardly and stare at each other?

As it turns out, you can’t let shit like that bother you. It went fine. And our greeting with a hug took me back to a good time when we used to date. I guess, yes, old feelings came flooding back but as I had told myself numerous times before and he made clear — we were just friends. Dinner went fine and smooth; us catching each other up on what the other has been up to over the past year. Even learned of a short-term girlfriend he had and honestly, I wasn’t bothered. The younger me would have been, as silly and ludicrous as it is, but as time has gone on, and what I remind myself of all the time — is that time does heal wounds. I was happy that he was happy.

Following dinner we rode to the going away party together and again, I still had those old feelings in the air, feeling both happy and sad at how much had changed since we first met and even started dating. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice, but as the night went on it felt like we could have been a couple, which threw me for a loop because I know realistically we can’t. And I was even more sure of that by the end of the night and New Year’s Eve.

It’s not to say I wouldn’t maybe date him again — or, that was my thought until Monday. Something about it being a new year and having had a chance to see him again after so long — made me more determined now than ever, to let him go. Maybe some day we can be friends or lovers again, but for now, I need and so badly want to focus on my exciting future both personally and professionally. I’m ready to give my all, my love, to a man who’s just as motivated to give the same back to me. Someone who is as certain about me as I am about them.

Remember ladies and men, know your worth and don’t let anyone treat you like you’re less than.

Anyway, something about the clock striking midnight had me feeling so excited, even more so than in years past. I don’t know exactly what it was, what my pinpoint was for my happiness and eagerness but I know one thing for sure, this year is going to be MY year. I have hope for this year that I’ll excel in my job, make new friends and meet new people to possibly date. Aaaaand eventually get around to actually working out in addition to eating healthier.

Life is too short to not take advantage of what it throws at us, good or bad. The bad times make us stronger and more appreciative and the good times are memories you’ll be able and want to cherish forever.

Who knows, too, maybe, just maybe my Mr. Right will appear in my life. Cheesy and cliche, I know. But at the same time — I think it’s about my time. I’ve been patient enough in waiting for love so bring it in 2019! LOL! Even if I don’t find Mr. Right this year, there is always next. And dating in the mean time should be fun. As Old Dominion sings…

“You gotta love like there’s no such thing as a broken heart.”

So no matter what your new solutions are, or whatever you’re letting go of and saying goodbye to in 2019, maintain the positive attitude that life will reward you with something new.

Until next time, readers…

XO,

Anamaria

Enjoy the little things…

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This weather today and yesterday, yuck.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s better than snow in my opinion any day, but still, it just makes it a drag to get out of bed for work? Am I right?

So, I’ve decided to compile a list of things you can do after the work day while it’s still drizzly and gloomy outside…

  1. Light a candle, plop on the couch or a comfy chair and read a book. Maybe it’s a book that’s been collecting dust on your shelf (er, maybe that’s just me) or one you just bought but you’ve been so bogged down with work you haven’t had time to crack it open yet. images
  2. Journal/blog. Nothing releases pent up emotions or just random thoughts in your head like letting it all out on paper. Grab a pen or pencil and get to writing (or typing if you’re blogging.) I did this last night on my phone instead of texting people and let me tell you, I felt much better about it this morning.
  3. Create a dream board. Or in my case, a dream journal. It’s been a little bit since I’ve worked on it but when I started it I had a lot of fun. I have a bunch of old magazines that I just cut words and pictures from and pasted them in my journal. They serve as a reminder to not dwell on the little things and always keep reaching for your dreams, no matter how big or small.
  4. Watch a TV series or movie. Same as reading s book, maybe it’s one you haven’t watched or ever seen. cropped-cropped-download
  5. Sit with a cup of coffee or tea and just listen to the rain. Open the windows and just listen. And/or think. Just let whatever comes to come mind come, and then let it go, especially if it’s a negative thought.
  6. Call a friend. Think of how often you only text with a friend. Or, write a letter. Who wouldn’t love getting an old-fashioned snail mail letter? Dial that number or grab that pen and write a “just because” letter to your friend. Or perhaps even to your future self about goals you hope you accomplish. e05415757e0a2242917c7ec4685c0c8b--vintage-telephone-vintage-phones
  7. Draw, color, paint. Nothing gets the juices flowing quite like that.
  8. Do some season cleaning. It’s the fall now, so perhaps you still have a plethora of spring and summer clothes lingering in your closet or dresser and you don’t wear much of now or probably won’t ever again, so clean them out and donate them.
  9. Listen to music. Simple as that. A day without music is a day wasted, in my opinion.
  10. Take a nap. This is always number one for me on days like today but, I thought I would have a greater chance of people not reading this list until the end if I put napping as No. 1. ūüėČ

Whatever you chose to do, make sure it’s a fun activity.

Until next time…

XO,

Anamaria

Great things never came from comfort zones…

goals

Hey there!

March officially kicked off last week and with the spouts of warm, sunny weather we’ve had recently it’s gotten me really excited for the spring season and overall just new goals this month. I came across a fellow blogger’s post about goals for the month of March and decided to follow suit and do the same.

So here is what I hope to accomplish in order to break out of my usual comfort zone…

  1. Actually finish Bethenny Frankel’s book,¬†I Suck At Relationships So You Don’t Have To
  2. Be more conscious of what I eat — not be so hardcore at counting calories that I set myself up for failure but, cutting back (hopefully) on pop and fast food. I recently have become addicted to pop again and with a vending machine at work that offers it, it’s easy to give in.
  3. Be happy. Simple. There’s always going to be negativity in the world but it’s up to us individually on how we react to it. We can’t let the negativity define us or make us bitter. We must allow it to make us better¬†and rise above it.¬†And that goes for things that happen to us personally or in general. And of course, if it’s something we can fix, then we should most definitely try.
  4. Understand and realize that not everything is as it seems. What I mean is that just because someone posts/presents a certain persona on social media doesn’t necessarily mean their life is as perfect as it may seem to you, the viewer. I for one often think this and then compare my life to theirs and feel like I am missing out on something but then I bring myself to reality and realize that while yes, people may have their own fantastic life, it may not always be perfect. And it’s totally acceptable to realize I too have a fantastic life, while not always perfect but, fulfilling, nonetheless.
  5. Give people chances — but, not too many. I am the type of woman who wears her heart on her sleeve and whether it’s my family, or your my friend or my significant other, I will care deeply for you. I may not always show or tell it, but, I love the people in my life more than anything else in the world. My family, for example, are people I would truly be lost without. And while I may not always tell them, I do love them and most definitely will always fight for them. But by giving chances I mean being open to the opportunities that present themselves to me, whatever it may be. Whether it’s saying ‘yes’ to someone asking me out on a date (after all, what do I have to lose?), writing a story I may not have a ton of interest or expertise in but be willing to learn, giving people a chance to redeem themselves after a mistake, but, also not letting them take advantage of me. I can and will only give people so many chances. And this month, and continuing in the future, I vow to myself to not let people take advantage of me in any way by giving them too many chances.
  6. Actually listen to what people are telling me and be actively engaged. I’ve noticed I tend to be hearing people but not always fully listening to the details and then later trying to piece together what exactly it was they were talking about. And this goes for both interviews for work and conversations among my family and friends.
  7. Smile. Sure, this may sound silly but people always say, ‘fake it until you make it?’ right? Well, even when times are chaotic or I’m going through something where I’m feeling sad or down, I am going to grin and bear it. After all, life is much too short to be spent down.
  8. Get moving more. Whether it’s something as simple/little as taking the stairs at my apartment or dancing to music while I’m getting ready for work or even putting my laundry away, I want to do my best to make sure I am moving more. After all, exercise gives us endorphins and endorphins make you happy. ūüėČ
  9. Keep in touch with people better. Lately I’ve realized that I am not always the best at keeping in touch with loved ones, like my friends. I tend to get so wrapped in my love for my new job and my new apartment that I let other important aspects of my life, such as my friends (and family, too) fall to the way side. I vow to be better at texting my friends and asking them how life is.
  10. Lastly… My goal is to try and blog more!

What about you? What are YOUR goals for this month and the remainder of the year?

Leave me a comment!

Until next time…

XO,

Anamaria

Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself…

I was in fifth grade when I officially declared I wanted to be a fashion designer.

fashionsketch

For our yearbook that year we had our own mini “bios” if you will, about what we wanted to be when we grew up, along with what our favorite activity, color was–or something along those lines. But, for what I wanted to be when I grew up–I had no hesitation of what to list.

 

I can’t recall the exact time that aspiration faded but, looking back now, I am happy I didn’t pursue that dream. Nothing against fashion designers–hell, I love fashion and give designers¬†MAAAAAAJOR¬†credit for all the hard work and effort they put in to making fabulous clothes, shoes and handbags. No, nothing against them at all. I just eventually realized I didn’t have the creativity, passion or even patience, to continue pursuing it.

After that dream fizzled out, my next and current dream was to write for a magazine. What magazine you may be wondering. Why, Cosmopolitan¬†of course.¬†I have loved that magazine for as long as I can remember.¬†And again, I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I knew I wanted to be a writer/reporter/journalist in general, but, I would say it was definitely solidified in high school.

LUCY HALE in Cosmopolitan Magazine
LUCY HALE in Cosmopolitan Magazine, September 2012 Issue

I wrote for the school newspaper, Ramparts, and at one point served as the Opinion Editor. It was a blast. I loved writing for the newspaper then and continued that line of work in college, where I wrote for Central Michigan Life as well as Grand Central Magazine.

However, now that I’m graduated from college, going on almost two years, I can’t help but sometimes wonder¬†when¬†my dream of being a full-time writer/reporter/journalist will come true. I know I shouldn’t but, I find myself constantly comparing myself to others– especially those in the same field, and wonder, why isn’t that me yet?

It’s a struggle from time to time, more often than not, but, thankfully through this blog and my work at HOMTV, I know that when the timing is right (hopefully by this summer), I’ll have landed a full-time job in my field. It’s tough though–I’ll talk to people outside of the news industry and when I tell them my ultimate career goals, they give me this look–probably not meaning to make it look so obvious, but nonetheless it’s still there–like why on Earth would you want to be a journalist? The news industry (specifically¬†print, which is my¬†main¬†and¬†ultimate¬†career goal) is dying, they say. As if I haven’t heard that before… Right?

Anyway… I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger and I don’t recall anyone trying to talk me out of that dream (now granted it was only fifth grade but still–if I said that now I would actually hope¬†for someone to talk me out of that one, ha!) and so why now that I am an adult, and spent five years in college studying journalism, do people want to essentially tell me “good luck getting a job” with that degree? It’s not that person’s dream so why do he or she feel entitled to tell me my dream/degree sucks? I think some other people’s dreams suck/are stupid but, I don’t go around telling them that to their face. It’s none of my business, and if it makes them happy, then great!

My point is, my dreams I had for myself when I was younger are different than what they are today.

In fact, while at this very point in time I think I have my hopes, dreams and goals all figured out, the truth is, I really don’t. I¬†think¬†I do, but, only God knows what the future holds for me. What I want and what I actually end up doing could¬†be totally different. Although, obviously, I hope my dreams come true. Not just for my professional career but in the personal aspects of my life as well.

For example, my dream is to be a reporter for a print publication. But, my internship position right¬†now is a TV reporter. That doesn’t go to say I’ll¬†only¬†apply for print jobs when I’m finished with my internship–I’ll of course apply for all and any kind of¬†journalism/news¬†job–but, what’s most important to me is that I am happy with what I am doing. And yes, this internship is an awesome experience. I’m so thankful I was given the¬†opportunity to do it. I have great bosses, co-workers; they want us interns to be successful and will answer any and all questions we have. And trust me, I have¬†a lot¬†of questions. LOL. I am learning so much that I can’t wait to apply to future jobs and show potential future employers my demo reel I’ll have made at the end of this semester.

But, if I’ll actually end up at a TV station once my internship is complete, I’m not sure. I tend to stress and worry too much about the future when I can’t control it–only the present–and it’s something I need to work on more. I would love to actually know and be people to share with the world that yes,¬†this¬†is what I will being doing come May, but, the truth is, I don’t know.¬†I would love to say yes, I will be a reporter at¬†X location, living in¬†Y location, but, the future is unknown. And that’s both exciting and scary. More often scary than exciting but, still.

Right now I can only focus on continuing to better myself as a reporter and become more confident in my on-air ability and interviewing skills. After all, those are pretty darn important as a reporter.

So, instead of focusing so much on the future, I’m going to try my best to¬†focus my mind on the present. And if anyone has any tips or advice on how to stay focused on the present and/ or¬†improving my skills and abilities as a reporter, I would love to hear them. I am all ears.

Or, perhaps a suggestion for a hobby–other than blogging (*although, I really do want my blog to take off and be substantial enough to where people who follow and read it, are genuinely interested in what I have to say. So, please, bloggers/writers/etc., send me some topics to blog about; I would¬†GREATLY appreciate it) and shopping (ha!), let me know.

Until next time…

XO,

Ana

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