Invest in people who invest in you…

investment

Walking into my house with the smell of Kipper lingering in the air isn’t exactly the welcome home I envisioned upon returning from being gone all day.

Thankfully I work at Bath and Body Works and am obsessed with our candles and have countless of them that I lit one right away in hopes of the smell fading. So far, the Kipper is still winning. -_-

And I’m thinking about how I need to allow 12 hours to fast before tomorrow morning since I have to get blood work, etc. done. Because you know, nothing says “Happy Friday” more than that. Ah… Good times. Thankfully I’m heading to visit my best friend after that for the night. Haven’t seen her new place since she’s moved.

Speaking of friends… I got to thinking today how friendship should always be a two-way street. If it’s not then is it really a friendship to begin with?

I tell ya, friendship is something I hold dear to my heart. I consider myself an extremely blessed person for having the friends I do in my life. My closest friendships, especially, have endured some tough times. Sure, we’ve had countless fun times with endless laughter, but, the true test of friendship comes, in my opinion, when you can endure hardships together.

And, I have more than one best friend.

Now, if you ask my brother Tom, he’ll say you can have only one best friend but, I disagree. I consider my group of “best” friends the best for a reason. Some I’ve known since kindergarten, others middle school, junior high, college. While I’ve known some longer than others, to me it isn’t about who I’ve known the longest but, who’s been by my side from the beginning and never left–even when times got tough.

Now I know that’s a cliche, but, it’s a cliche I find to be very applicable to my life. And in recent years, months, I’ve come to realize that while I consider myself to have a decent amount of friends in general, not everyone may consider me one back.

I’ll be the first to admit I am not the perfect friend. I’m human, and I make mistakes and say stupid things. But, I make up for it by being what a friend should be to begin with. Loyal, honest, trustworthy, apologize when necessary, and overall just be a listening ear when there are no words.

But, in general, like I mentioned above, friendship should always be a two-way street. I think when you’re the only one putting time and effort into it, or the other person offers effort when it’s only convenient for him or her, then perhaps it’s time to cut your losses. After all, life’s much too short to spend it on people who only want to be in your life part-time.

parttimefriends

It’s funny how friendships work out though. Or don’t. For example, a prime one… Today, I spent the day “working” with my friend, Melinda, who I just met in January through our internship. We had so much fun together that it honestly didn’t feel like work. And those are the type of friendships and people I value and appreciate having in my life.

We’ve only known each other for just two months now but, after today, I feel like I’ve known her much longer. She is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and, I realized in some ways, we are exactly alike. (Which, to others, I am not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing, LOL!) But, like I mentioned above, friendship isn’t always about who we’ve known the longest. Sure, I’ve only known her for two months but, she’s someone I’ve come to know as kind, loyal and trustworthy. And also, freaking hilarious! I seriously laughed so hard with her today that I snorted, and I’m sure some people thought I was totally nuts. (Side note: I was getting a little slap happy and acting a little loopy since I am so exhausted and don’t even know how I am still up, writing a blog right now. Oh wait, yes… COFFEE! Coffee for the win!)

Anyway… Some friendships in my life I feel as though I should ween myself off of simply for the fact because I feel they don’t serve me much purpose. Like, I wonder what I am gaining from these individuals? Especially, when they’re the ones who are only in it partially.

I get it, people are busy with their own lives–myself included, but, if someone really wants a friendship to work out, he or she will make the effort to make it work. Now, for some friendships, in my life for example, I don’t need to talk to my friends everyday to know we’re still friends. And I’m sure other people are like that too. To me there’s nothing wrong with that–it just reaffirms my friendship with that person and shows how truly strong our bond is.

longdisffriends.jpg
But, for other friendships, I feel as though more semi-frequent communication/contact with each other is essential. Or, just, nice. But at an appropriate time. Like I also mentioned above earlier, I am not the most perfect friend and I don’t always make the time to touch base with my friends when I should but, thankfully I have wonderful friends and they realize we’re all busy with our own lives sometimes. Other people though, I feel as though they treat a friendship with me, in this case, or in general, a person, and only contact them when it’s convenient for him or her, or, otherwise, when he or she is simply lonely? Bored? Not sure what the right word is but, the bottom line is, it’s not a full investment in the friendship. And that’s just something I can’t get on board with.

Sure, it’s something I myself need to work on because I’m sure I come across this way to some of my friends, and after feeling as though I’ve been treated like this myself, I definitely wouldn’t want others to feel the same way. It’s not a great feeling. So, in honor of it still being considered a “new” year (in my mind anyway–who cares if it’s March, lol) my goal is to better myself as a friend (touch base with my friends more often, listen more carefully) and personally weed out the friendships in my life that I consider dying/don’t really serve me a purpose and say “bye” to them as needed. It’ll suck, but, it’s not the end of the world, and who knows, it may not actually be forever. After all, just like other types of relationships, sometimes friendships just need a break.

partingways

And, also remember, some friendships just aren’t meant to last forever. Same goes for romantic relationships, jobs, etc. I don’t say that to be harsh or a Debby Downer, but, to speak of reality. But, if you do want to make it last forever, or you know, for a long time, then you need to be willing to INVEST in it. It cannot be a one-way street or it will just never work out.

“You get out of it what you put in.”

That above applies to many things in life so, keep it in mind.

Until next time…

XO,

Ana

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