post-college – ThirtySomething Shenanigans

I don’t know about other women my age or at the same point in their life (post-college) but I feel like the dating pool is kind of small. Or maybe I am just blinded and missing the greater dating pool.

It could just be my over-picky-ness but in all honesty, where are women my age and at this point in life supposed to meet people? Hell, I wasn’t even sure where to find people when I was in college. The bar? A coffee shop? A concert? The bar seems to be the typical place to meet people for twenty-somethings and while I am a twenty-something, I feel as though I am not into finding my soul mate, my one true love, while having already consumed a couple beers and then some.

Don’t get me wrong, I love going to the bar and just hanging out with my girl friends but when it comes to meeting people (i.e. potential significant other) I feel as though it can be difficult. In my opinion people use the bar and consuming some liquor for well, liquid encouragement. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that considering I’ve done the same but, in the end it just doesn’t always work out as well as hoped.

Let me again reiterate that I don’t think there is anything wrong with people meeting their S.O. at the bar. I know some success stories from doing so but, since I’ve already gone through that phase, or at least attempted to (but really, was too shy/chicken shit to) I feel like it’s not for me anymore.

Which begs the question: Where do twenty-something women, post-college, meet men who are at the same point in their lives, if not even more established?

That’s part of the problem. I have people tell me I am much too picky when it comes to guys–whether it be to casually date him or something more serious and long-term. Now I will admit I suppose I am just a tad picky but I also don’t want to settle. On the other hand, the people I know who are dating someone or will date in the future are probably people I wouldn’t ever date. That doesn’t go to say the people they’re dating are undesirable or anything, it’s just a different taste than what I am looking for. After all, everyone has their own tastes, etc. and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m sure some people reading have probably written me off as someone whose standards are too high that no guy will ever be able to meet but, I disagree. It might not happen anytime soon but as people always tell me–things happen when they’re supposed to and when I least expect it. I am a firm believer every person has a soul mate in the world (should they believe in/want love–regardless of it results in marriage or just something monogamous without a piece of paper) and therefore that is why I don’t believe my standards are too high. Perhaps to some they are but for me I know what I wan’t and don’t want and I refuse to settle.

Perhaps there is that small part of me that still believes in those Disney fairy tales. The fairy tales where the princess rides off into the sunset with prince charming and they live happily-ever-after. Who wouldn’t want that? Okay, so not everyone wants that or believes in that but I do and I’m sticking to it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being single. I’ve been single for some time now and it’s been great. But, at the same time, I’ve always been one who believes in love, wants love, had a great love once, and am looking for one again. I am a believer in fairy tales and while I don’t expect to literally ride off into the sunset with my prince charming, I do look forward to finding my soul mate and well, living happily-ever-after, on our own terms, however that may be.

Not everyone longs to find true love, their “other half”, and that is totally okay. But for me and seeing people in my own family (and friends) experience that feeling of true love/happily-ever-after I can’t help but feel I am meant for that too–and it’s what I want. But until then begs the question of where do I meet my so-called “prince charming”?

Can I still meet guys at the bar? Or am I past that? I personally think I am beyond that stage of my life now but perhaps I am wrong. I am curious, people who are reading this–where are twenty something women my age meeting people?

If you have any ideas on where to meet people I’d like to know. It obviously isn’t my life mission to pin point my prince charming this very second but, it’s certainly something I am interested in happening at some point. In mean the time the hunt for a job continues and hopefully saving up enough money to have my own place again. It’s best to just live life in the moment, right?

Until next time…

– Ana

In one week another school year will begin at my soon-to-be alma mater.

As I read the many Facebook updates, tweets and snap chat pictures, I get a feeling of nostalgia knowing I won’t be resuming classes with the rest of my friends. Classes for me ended in May and this summer I spent my time fulfilling my last collegiate requirement, an internship, before graduation.

At times I thought spring semester would never end. I’m pretty sure I was ready for it to be over even before it began. That feeling of knowing I was so close to the end I could taste it made it a challenge to stay focused and put 110% effort into my school work before getting to that point. But, as time got closer to filling out my last ever S.O.S. form and studying for my last ever final exams, I knew I was going to miss it.

I think the moment it truly hit me was when I was going through senior farewell for my sorority, Delta Phi Epsilon, on April 26. Now I know the sisterhood is a lifetime commitment and membership but not being physically there with my sisters for more school years to come on a regular basis is extremely weird, and sad. And it’s not just my sisters I’ll miss, but my non-Greek friends too–as well as my professors and CMU itself in general.

Flashback five years… Moving into my dorm freshmen year I didn’t know what to expect. But then again, did anyone really? I’m sure people had conjured up their own images of what college life would be like but for me I knew that anything I had imagined would probably be different in reality. There wasn’t anything wrong with that but I knew if I kept imagining things then I would be let down when reality set it and it wasn’t the same.

During freshmen year I had as much fun as any college student could have but, I was still missing home a lot. It was a new experience for me, for all the incoming freshmen, but I just couldn’t bear being away from my family and boyfriend at the time. Thankfully I didn’t live far so I could go home when I pleased but I can’t help but sometimes wonder what the weekends I went home would have been like had I stayed at school.

Fast forward… Through the rest of my college years to (almost) graduation. Looking back on my overall college experience I enjoyed every moment, good and bad, of it. It’s crazy how fast time flew by and how I am now on the hunt to finding my first “big girl” job.

There were honestly more times than I can count when I thought college might never end. It was during the not-so-good, super stressful times, that I couldn’t wait to leave. And while I am super eager to see what my future holds post-college, I can’t help but wonder if the people who always told me “stay in college as long as you can because as soon as you enter the real world you’ll miss it” were right. The second I got on the highway to head home on Thursday, May 8 I instantly missed my sorority sisters, my friends, professors and the campus itself. I missed everything and everyone so much I started tearing up, thinking my college experience had flashed right before my very eyes. But, as time has gone on since that cloudy, windy day, I realized I will always have the memories to cherish. And the friendships I’ve made will always be in tact as long as I’m willing to put forth the effort, which I will. It will be tough at times, especially once I find and begin my big girl job and become super busy, but, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s… “No matter where I roam CMU will always be my home.”

I can’t forget where I come from, both my alma mater and my actual hometown. It will be tough, it will be an adjustment should I ever move away (whether it be an hour or hours), but, I know if I am serious about making my dreams come true then I have to go above and beyond my comfort zone. I have to do whatever it takes. I say this with every intention of following through, even though deep down somewhere I know I will probably run scared in the opposite direction but, it’s the thought that counts, right? I’m not a huge fan of change even though in theory it sounds great. And well, it is said it takes 21 days for something to become habitual. Who knows, maybe after a 21-day adjustment period I will become adjusted to whatever change comes my way. But I guess since nothing like that has actually happened yet, post-college life anyway, I shouldn’t worry so much. Perhaps that’s something I could work on–not worrying so much about the unknown future or about things in general.

Anyway, while I continue the process of applying for big girl jobs and hoping I am given a chance to showcase my skills and previous experience I’ll enjoy what’s left of this summer with my loved ones, friends and family, and cherish every single moment.

Until next time…

– Ana

Tag: post-college

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