Chipotle – ThirtySomething Shenanigans

February 25, 2016February 26, 2016

Where there is love there is life…

It’s 11 o’clock on a Thursday night, thinking I should be exhausted from a long work week, but am not.

This week’s been super short due to having Monday off as well as getting an early release yesterday and the whole day off today due to the weather. So, today I decided to be somewhat productive–after, of course, I got caught up on my TV shows I’ve missed these past few weeks.

So, my hair wand styling tool decided to quit working so naturally I had to go buy a new one, right? Which I did, at Sally’s, and then after that I went to Target to print off some pictures to update the ones currently in my frame on the wall. But you know when it comes to Target it’s never just one thing you LEAVE Target with. No, no, no. I also had on my list of things to buy: nylons, a candle to go in my new candle holder I bought in Nashville and deodorant. But, did I leave with just that? Of course not. Why? Because Target is a trap and that’s what they do to you–make you leave its store with not only what you actually came for but a lot more as well. And sometimes you don’t even leave with what you came for–you just leave with 50 other things you definitely DIDN’T need. But, that’s another story, and not the point of this one.

So, I get home to put away my new stuff only to realize that I must organize some other things in my room to make space for the new stuff. As I start moving things around and dusting, I realize just how much stuff I have. Random stuff. Random stuff I don’t need, but, find myself always clinging on to because deep down I think I might be a hoarder. Not literally but, sometimes I wonder…

Anyway… So I am cleaning through stuff and putting a lot of stuff in a bag for my aunt to donate to the food bank she works at. Among the stuff I am going through I come across some old memories. Memories that made me smile and others that made me wish some people were still alive and physically here. But, more importantly, it made me realize how much I have changed and grown from a young girl to a young woman–someone, in my opinion, who is much different than the girl who used to wear white eyeliner and had those two pieces of random hair hanging in front of her face.

Oh yes, I was that girl. I used to be. Can you even picture it? (I have pictures to prove it, but, I’ll leave it to you using your imagination, lol) But, my point is, is that the woman who I I pictured myself to be one day when I grew up, isn’t who I am. It’s not an entirely bad thing, and now that I am older I understand “everything happening for a reason”, but, I am wondering just how long it will take me to understand the reasoning for why my life is actually the way it is versus how I imagined it to me.

I’m not saying I have a bad life, because I definitely do not. But, the younger me pictured the NOW me to be working my dream career as a journalist, being married and living with my future husband… Having and living that happily-ever-after. But guess what? That’s not my current reality. It’s definitely still my dream, but, I’m wondering why it hasn’t come true yet. Like, why did my life plan/goals not play how exactly how I wanted them to? I’ll never know.

love

So, focusing on the present, I still want to somehow make that dream of mine come true. Sure, it won’t match the timeline I had envisioned for myself when I was younger but if there’s another thing I learned in addition to everything happening for a reason, it’s my soulmate is out there some where. Probably sounds pretty crazy to some but, I firmly believe that the “man of my dreams” is out there just waiting to meet me.

Okay, so I sound like a cheesy romance movie or trashy romance novel but, you know what, I not only believe in love but, I LOVE love. Is it just me, or…?

I love the idea of love, the meaning of it and how it affects people–and not just romantically. It’s an amazing thing to experience by giving and receiving it.

Well, I for one am all about giving it. Now, if only I could find a man who would be willing to receive it and give it back…

Alright, so I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that I’ve been playing the single field for some time now and while in college there were countless possibilities of eligible bachelors, I spent my time focused on school, other things.

Looking back now, I think maybe in the back of my mind I thought my then ex and I might get back together, or, maybe I just felt like trying to find a man on a college campus was asking for too much (and I was being too picky), but, for whatever reason, I just didn’t hook anyone with my bait, if you will. LOL. Well, flash forward to over a year and a half since I’ve graduated and moved back to my hometown, trying to land a full-time job in my field, I wonder, now where am I supposed to meet people?

Through mutual friends? The bar? Online? By chance?

I’ve experienced all of the above but, none have panned out… Which, makes me wonder and question–Am I seriously going to be single forever?

Okay, so it sounds a little crazy but, try to understand that I’ve been single for a loooong time. Okay, so sure, there are people out there who live their whole lives being single and are totally fine. And people who haven’t been single their whole lives but still have been single longer than me.

But, like I mentioned above, I love love, and I want love. I want that head-over-heels kind of love, and I truly believe I’m meant to experience and have it. Others might not agree but, it doesn’t matter what they think–only what I do.

But I wonder after trying to meet men through mutual friends, at the bar, and by chance, where in the world AM I supposed to meet them?

Is there some way/somewhere I completely missing, simply just having bad luck or destined to be single for forever?

Now, there are a couple things I must share in regards to online dating, as it was brought to my attention when one of my friends posted it to her social media last week. She made some very valid points and I agreed with almost all of them. But, then it got me to thinking… Maybe that’s what was deterring men from me and vice versa? Not to say that’s what the case was for her though, no.

But the points she made about online dating were as follows (not exact word-for-word) and they just made me think, WOW! BAM! Nailed it on the head…

* Disclaimer: I am in no way dissing online dating. I’ve been on sites in the past and am on some right now.

A first impression is everything. Before you even message me you better have some clear, solid pictures of YOU. I don’t mind if you have some pictures with your friends, as I do too, but, if you don’t have at least one, preferably two, pictures that clearly shows who you are then… Don’t waste your time messaging me. Online dating is hard enough and I don’t want to spend the extra time trying to figure out what man is you. Also, if you have a girl in your picture and you don’t say who she is then… Yeah, sorry, a turn off for me. AND also… The weird blur outs or “stickers” over people’s faces too=WEIRD. Or if you don’t have ANY pictures=EVEN WEIRDER. But anyway, moving on…
Physical appearances aren’t and shouldn’t be everything but, let’s face it, it does play a role in relationships, and especially in the online dating world. That sounds conceited but, let’s be honest. I can only assume how many guys passed over me because physically I wasn’t their type. Sure, it sucks, but, I know there are countless more guys out there to pick from who may just find me to be exactly what they’re looking for. But, same goes for me. If I don’t think there is a physical attraction, then it will be hard for me to pursue the relationship further. And I don’t just say this in regards to online dating–even in real life there’s got to be some chemistry and physical attraction to the other person. Okay, so maybe I sound like a total conceited bitch, but, I know other people out there think this same thing but won’t say it. It’s fine. Moving on…
If someone messages me and I don’t respond, or if I message someone and they don’t respond–what to do=MOVE ON. I’ve had a handful of guys message me, only to look at their profile afterward and see there is no way we have anything in common. I just think it’s weird, sorry. Like I mentioned above–there are plenty of people to pick from so move on to the next one in hopes that person will message you back.
If you’re going to take a chance and message me (hoping you at least skimmed my profile but if not, well then) then at least have it be something substantial. For example, I got a message from someone the other day whose profile picture was a MEME and it was his ONE AND ONLY picture asking if I had Snapchat. I read it and thought, “I sure do, but, in no way in hell am I going to give you my username. Creep!” Yeah, I deleted that message real quick. Like I said, have it be something that can keep a conversation going.
I will never understand why guys insist on asking/saying “how can someone as pretty/beautiful as you be single?” I don’t know, pal. YOU tell me… Enlighten me, if you will.

So, there’s definitely more I could say about online dating, but, I’m sure some people are reading this and are thinking, “Well, gee, it’s no wonder you’re still single.” Yeah, yeah, I get it. Maybe I’m being way too harsh but, if there’s something I learned from my first serious relationship is that I refuse to settle–in anything in life, but, especially in love.

…Of course I have people tell me all the time how my “Mr. Right”/”Prince Charming” will come along in my life when I’m not looking and when I least expect it but, um, hello? I’ve been trying to live that life for the past how many years and here I am… STILL SINGLE.

It’s been partly by choice, but, more recently, I’ve realized I’m ready to date someone for the long-run and maybe, hopefully, settle down with him someday. Of course, that alone probably deters some guys from dating me as not all guys are ready to settle down or are even looking for something long-term. Which is fine, too. Hell, I’d be happy if someone just wanted to take me out on a date or, simply just hang out and enjoy my company. Sure, I have amazing friends and family who are great company themselves, but, I also would like a male companion as company too.

Which begs the question… Where is a 25-year-old single woman supposed to meet people?

I’m still on the online dating scene, but, nothing seriously potential from it yet.

I’ve tried meeting people at the bar and well, everyone’s inhibitions go out the door and we all know how that goes…

I’ve met people through mutual friends and it just doesn’t pan out.

So single men and women… Where do the single people of the universe meet the others? And, how I do approach a single man?

I blog about this not just for the sake of myself, but, because I know there are other single people out there, possibly reading this, and probably (or potentially) thinking these same things.

And, well, if there aren’t, then pardon me, keep moving along…

My point of this blog is to share that I am open and ready for a relationship–but more importantly, love. As an example, my parents are high school sweethearts and have been married 40+ years and I want a love like that–that lasts forever, through good times and tough.

So, while I continue waiting for my Mr. Right/Prince Charming to come along in my life (or continue seeking him out in the form of meeting at a bar, through mutual friends, online, etc), I’ll be living my life same as always: blogging, working on reaching my ultimate career goal of becoming a reporter, eating Chipotle, drinking Starbucks and watching too much Law and Order: SVU.

I mean, if that doesn’t rock some guy’s socks off, then, I don’t know what will. LOL! 😉

Until next time…

XO,
Ana

January 14, 2016January 14, 2016

There’s No Place Like HOM…

It’s Thursday night, and I am currently sitting at my kitchen table, feeling a tad hypocritical for having just had leftover pizza for dinner, and wanting an ice cold beer, but, not having any, while I stare right at my new It Works! starter kit that came in the mail today.

For those of you who don’t know the gist of It Works!, it’s that “crazy wrap thing”… That aims to help you tone, tighten and detoxify your body. Along with a line including a bunch of other products designed to help you be healthier.

Anyway, not my point of this blog…

It’s Thursday night, and I have officially completed week one of my internship at HOMTV.

While it has only been a couple of days, I must say I am super eager to see what the rest of this semester/experience holds. I have already learned so much in such a short period of time, that I can’t wait to find out what else I will learn from the program/workshops itself, but through my own trials and tribulations.

The first day was orientation, where learned the overview of the program along with the usual procedures and policies. Oh, and we went over dress code… Note To Self: Create shoe bag and leave in car. LOL! I am seriously going to find my best shoes and put them in a bag and leave them in my car so I am always prepared. I wore my Ugg boots to the Wednesday night workshop and while no one said anything, I accidentally forgot my work shoes from my coat closet at home. But, given the weather this week, my initial thought was Uggs=WARMTH! LOL.

We also got our picture taken for the HOMTV website, which, I am super geeked about. And yes, I just used the word “geeked.” (A one-time thing, I swear, lol) Not only will this picture be used on the main HOMTV website, but it will also be used for my soon-to-be in live action, FACEBOOOK FAN PAGE! Yep, that’s right. Us reporters get a fan page! I am telling you this now so you can remember to “like” it on Facebook as soon as it’s up and running.

The following day for my morning shift we watched archive videos of past newscasts and wrote our bios for the HOMTV website. It was a little strange at first, writing in the third person, about myself, but, once I got going I couldn’t be stopped. I wrote the serious stuff, like where I graduated from, what I studied, and where I see myself after the internship. And then, of course, I put the fun stuff–like that in my free time I like to watch my favorite TV shows Pretty Little Liars and Criminal Minds, and that I am a coffee mug collector. And course love Chipotle and shoes. (Although, Chipotle, not so much lately… You know, given their whole E-Coli deal…)

Then, later that evening was our first workshop–the reporting workshop. During this we learned about the Society of Professional Journalists: Code of Ethics, the various terms used in television, and watched previous interns’ work, i.e. packages and stand-ups. I most excited about this workshop, as this is the track I will be focusing on–reporting.

The second day, morning shift, we continued/finished watching the archive videos of old newscasts and began working on our first exam. Our first exam is due Tuesday. Will work on that this weekend. EEEK! The evening portion was our field production workshop–where we learned all about how to use a camera. It was a lot of information to process, but, I definitely learned a lot. It makes me even more eager (although just as nervous, too) to get out there and start shooting stuff.

HOMTV1 — Me and Ar-Rel getting ready for our future close-ups.

This morning I had off. In the evening we had our editing workshop, which involved even more information than last night. I feel super nervous and overwhelmed at the moment, but, after talking to some of the other interns and a seasoned intern, I can move forward knowing it’s okay/normal to feel this way and that everything will be okay. The workshop tonight taught us how to import, export and edit our footage. It’s a lot to do and a lot to remember, but, like I said before, I AM looking forward to it! Can’t wait to see how I improve over the course of the semester. Yay!

Anyway… So that is what my first week at HOMTV was like. I’ll try to update this more frequently as the internship goes on, but, I know the internship itself will keep me fairly busy so, we’ll see. Anyway, look for me on Facebook soon–my fan page. And, if you haven’t already, be sure to like the HOMTV Faceboo0k page itself by clicking here as well as their Twitter handle at @HOMTV.

Until next time…

XO,

Ana

January 4, 2015January 4, 2015

Hello, 2015!

It’s officially a new year. Another year down in the books. Another day, another chance to start fresh. After all, isn’t that what the new year is about?

I know for some people, even myself, the first day of the new year can be so cliche for new things, new goals, new aspirations, etc. to take place. But, if not now, then when? Something about a brand new slate gives people that extra push of motivation to get going on those new “things” they’ve been after.

Now, what do I have “new” going on for me this year in 2015? Well, I’m no Miss Cleo and so I can’t predict the exact future, but I can tell you what I am hoping to have happen this year. And, well, some things I know will happen–like me turning TWENTY-FIVE in five months. Ummm, what? :-O

Anyway… With a new year upon us I am looking forward to many things. For starters, I am looking forward to going to Nashville for my third time in 3 weeks to visit my old roommate/best friend Kayla. This will be my second time flying alone but, slightly scarier this time as I have a three hour layover and a plane change. Now I’ve done a layover and plane change before but, just not by myself. EEEEK! Let’s just hope I don’t miss my next plane because I’m caught up getting another cup of coffee or watching my DVD collection of Criminal Minds. 😉 Either way I am super excited and can’t wait for a little getaway from this crazy weather we’ve been having these past few days. (Where was this snow for Christmas? I’m just saying.) I’d say if I’m lucky then it won’t snow AT ALL while I’m visiting there. When I went last February, on my last night, there was seriously the LIGHTEST amount of snow flurries EVER and Nashville had their salt trucks out like they had just had a couple of INCHES fall. It was wild to see. LOL!

On another note… Between that and until June I’ll just be working and dreaming of my next trip to Nashville or elsewhere. Come June it’ll be my 25th birthday. Still can’t believe it. When did it become so close to me being 25? Didn’t I just turn 21 yesterday? Anyway, with me turning 25 the only thing I can REALLY, TRULY look forward to is my car insurance going down. WOO HOO! Oh, and being able to rent a car. That’s cool, I guess, right? 😉

In all reality I don’t really mind turning 25 as it’s another birthday to celebrate and who doesn’t like celebrating birthday with loved ones, regardless of the age you’re turning? In my opinion, turning 25 is when to do something REALLY big. So, my something really big I would love to do is either go to Vegas (better get saving… myself AND my best friends, included 😉 ) or something smaller, Chicago, or even smaller but still super fun–overnight stay at the casino. Who knows? I still have four months to go but you know me, I am a planner and like to get the party started early. HA!

What else is happening this year… Well, nothing too major that I know of. Or can remember. At least, that I know of, yet. Hmm… Hopefully big things will happen, if not for me, then for others. But, we don’t know what the future holds so I guess we’ll wait and see.

While I don’t personally know what else is in store for me, I do have HIGH hopes for things that I would like to happen. Might sound corny and overrated but I have high hopes I’ll find a special someone to start dating. Okay, so it sort of, kind of sounds so corny but who doesn’t want to eventually want to settle down with someone and all that? I do. I know not everyone does, and that’s totally okay and awesome, but for me, I just have a feeling, a desire, a hope, to be that sparkle in someone’s eye. Okay, taking it to too far as being cheesy/corny so I’ll leave it at that. LOL! We’ll just see what fate brings me.

In other news… I am also really hoping I can find a diet/exercise regimen I can stick to. Like I mentioned in a previous blog post, I HATE exercising and dieting. Like both words might as well be banned from my vocabulary. I hate them both. But, while I despise them both doesn’t mean I don’t think they’re important. They are both super important and I give major credit to those who stick to a good diet and exercise program and see actual results–have their own success story. I always tell myself I someday want to be my own success story but it’s just the motivation to get there is SERIOUSLY lacking. I like food too much, plain and simple. And, I HATE exercising. So, until I can tone down my love for food and get over my hate of exercise I have a feeling I’ll just have to deal and settle with where I am at now. But come on, who likes to settle for something such as weight, especially when you KNOW you can lose it. I need more willpower, damnit.

Anyway, enough about dieting and exercising. I really want to keep this blog going consistently this year but I just don’t know what to write about. People tell me to write what I know about but I think I can only write about and people can only read so much about….: My love for food (i.e. Chipotle), love for Starbucks, Criminal Minds, Pretty Little Liars… AND… Shoes. Yup. I mean I know there are others out there who enjoy these things as well but only for so long. I need NEW, FRESH content. So if anyone has any ideas for me I am ALL ears. 🙂

Oh, one more thing before I end this post–something that I found amusing tonight… My dad tried to use my iPad and didn’t have a clue on how to use it. Oh, I love you, dad! 🙂 Thankfully it didn’t take rocket science for him to figure it out but it was just kind of funny I thought. It made me think of how if I ever have kids that in that day and age they won’t know about what’s popular right now for my generation because by then it won’t be popular anymore. Same thing with my dad–the iPad and technology of that nature weren’t around when he was my age and so someday when I am his age I will be in his same shoes as he is now if I have kids and they’re playing with their popular gadget of the future. 😉 Just a little something I found comical, among several other things tonight. I swear, my parents, brother Tom and I should have our own reality TV show. We’re hilarious. Although, other times I am thankful there aren’t cameras around for the comical, nonsense we say. 😉

Hope everyone’s new year is off to a great start so far. Tell me, what are you hoping to happen in 2015? Big or small. Cheers to a great year!

Until next time…

– Ana

September 9, 2014

Exercise might as well be a swear word

If there’s one thing I hate more than anything else in this world it’s exercise.

I hate the sound of it, the meaning of it, the looks of it–everything. You honestly probably couldn’t pay me to do it. That’s how much I loathe it.

Now don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying it’s bad for you, or anyone else, because we all know that’s not true but that doesn’t mean I still can’t hate it.

Why do I hate it? You ask. Well, to be honest I don’t really have a valid reason other than I think it’s boring and I don’t think there’s ever a convenient time to do it. (Which again, we all know is not true)

How I feel about having to exercise--NOT happy. — How I feel about having to exercise–NOT happy.

Honestly, I think what really bothers me (and sorry to all of you naturally thin, in shape people) is the thought of having to go to a gym, where there are other people (and not just any people, but random strangers), and a lot of them are already in shape and so they’re there working out to MAINTAIN their physique. I, on the other hand, am NOT trying to maintain this physique of mine. Over the past few years I’ve become more fixated on my size and the number I weigh but never motivated enough to do anything about it.

*Side note: I am in no way meaning to look down on people who do go work out to maintain their physique (and/or just happen to be naturally thin/at their ideal weight) but just simply stating my personal observation of “Wow, those people already look damn fabulous and therefore intimidate me.”

One part of me thinks like a ridiculous person by praying and hoping I’ll just one day wake up thinner. It’s this horrible mentality I have that thin people were born just like that, thin, and I, well, I was born not thin. But again, that’s as crazy as saying there is never a convenient time to work out.

Now, I do know genetics play a partial role in the amount someone weighs and so I do believe my genetics are partially to blame for how much I currently weigh but, on the other hand, I do admit I LOVE food and (again) HATE exercise. So what does that equal? Being overweight. I think I hate exercise because I feel as though there is this entitlement to being thin since other people in the world just happen to be naturally thin. Again, though, this isn’t their “fault” but rather just how their genetics are and their lifestyle. Their lifestyle allowed them to earn their thin physique and obviously there is nothing wrong with that!

Anyway… The other part of me thinks I am “pretty much” okay with my physique and the number on my scale even though in reality that couldn’t be further from the truth. Like I mentioned above I’ve become more fixated and desired wanting to lose weight more so in the past few years than when I was in high school or first starting out college. At that time it just didn’t seem like a big deal to me or anyone else so I thought, why bother?

But with heavy emphasis on weight loss in the media and pretty much everywhere I look I can’t help but feel pressured to do something about my weight. Of course it isn’t just the media either. I know too that if I don’t take my health and fitness more seriously than it could develop into more serious issues later on, which is something I definitely don’t want to have to deal with.

However, this is all so much easier said than done. SO much easier. I often think to myself how I will wake up in the morning and go on the treadmill or count points for Weight Watchers for the week but then I think, but I’ll just be miserable and hungry or miserable and sweaty–neither of which sound appealing. But, as we all know what this really does is make me feel even worse later when I eat beyond normal portion sizes and don’t exercise.

It’s a daily struggle. I am currently subscribed to Weight Watchers and have the app but I just get so tired, and bored you could say, of counting points. Oh, and something else to mention that I forgot to earlier, is I also have the mentality of thinking since it seems like my extra weight came on overnight then my extra weight should come off overnight as well, right?

WRONG.

And that’s where my weight loss journey needs to start first–is my brain and mind on accepting it will take time to see progress and that no one loses weight overnight unless they get professional surgery. I really have a love-hate relationship with WW. I do believe WW is a good program as it is helps a lot with portion control, which means you can still indulge in your guilty pleasures without actually feeling guilty after. The bad part though, for me, is the allocation of points women and men get and how those differ based on sex and height and weight.

For example, my daily points fall between 27-28 points. Without knowing anything about WW it might seem like a lot, and to some women it could be, but as a woman who loves food–especially Chipotle–the struggle is real to stay in that allocated amount. See what I mean?

I believe deep down somewhere I have the determination and motivation needed to lose weight but it’s buried beneath the mindset of thinking the weight will come off after one day of dieting and or thinking I’ll just wake up at my goal weight.

STILL WRONG!

As you can see I really loathe the word “exercise” and I also really don’t like the word “diet” either. It sounds just as painful and awful as the other. Aside from my lack of mental motivation I am also physically unmotivated. I always feel “too tired” to work out and while I may actually be a little bit tired, I think I feel more than I actually am because I am overweight. It takes its toll on you. I’ve seen that from other people as well, not just myself.

Now I know both men and women are supposed to love their bodies at any size which, I do to an extent but, health-wise I could stand and would like to lose weight. I want my clothes to become too big, not too small. I want to have that extra energy to do things other than sit around and watch TV all day or eat Chipotle. Because right now I feel trapped. I know it sounds crazy, and while I know realistically I will never be a size small or something near model physique, I know I can be thinner and (based on my height) should be (for health reasons specifically). I know a thinner, healthier version of me is there somewhere. I don’t intend for that to sound so vain or to put down women who are of similar or bigger size to me but for my height specifically (and even age too I’m sure) I am overweight. This isn’t just about wanting to feel better so I think I look better physically but it really boils down to losing weight so I can be healthy and live a long time and be more active in my everyday life. I want there to be a day where I don’t hate exercising and dieting and instead actually look forward to doing those things. I’m sure I can achieve it, sooner rather later, but I just need some tips, tools and resources.

My motivation is around here somewhere but it’s more about “rewiring” my brain and mind to think positive about diet, exercise, fitness and weight loss. So if anyone has tips for that specifically I am ALL ears.

Until next time…

– Ana