I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye…

Call me crazy but, I love love love.

I’ve been in love before, and I hope, pray and know I’ll fall in love again. But, when?

Here I am X amount of years after a relationship wondering when and where, not if, I’ll meet my Mr. Right a.k.a. Prince Charming.

You’re probably wondering why I’m even rambling about this on a Monday night at 11 o clock. LOL! Just thinking about my weekend encounter when I tried to TALK to another human being of the opposite sex. 😂 LMAO! But more about that later on in this post…

Okay, so maybe I sound like some young, naive girl who still believes in “fairytales”. But that’s just it–I don’t still believe in fairytales. I just have and always will. Quite frankly, I don’t see what’s wrong with that?

Moving to a new state a few months ago I thought the dating scene might improve, meaning I’d have more selection and variety or, that I would just be more willing and able to give chances to people, without regard to where I meet them (online or in person). I come across men when I’m out at the bars back home and come across men all the time when I’m out in the field working; although the latter isn’t the appropriate time or place to meet eligible bachelor men. Lol. Anyway…

But, while meeting a cute guy at the bar and trying my best not to be awkward, I can’t help but think it’s his loss if he thinks in the end my awkwardness is too weird/a turn off anyway. Hell, maybe he is just interested in a hook-up, which, sure, on one hand doesn’t sound all that bad if I was still in college and in general, younger, but, at 26 I’m just no longer into it. Or maybe I just need to brush on my skills on how to flirt and not be awkward. LOL! HALP!

But look, I am a real adult now. Or you know, am for the most part. 😂 I live in a completely different town and state than where I grew up my whole life. I have a cute little two bedroom apartment that feels like home (to the best of my ability), and, am finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do–be a reporter. Thankfully I’m in love with my job but, I don’t want that to be my whole life.

Like I said above, and I’ve said before: I love love. I am fortunate to have experienced it once before, despite it not working out in the end, because I am a firm believer, and I think probably was before experiencing it myself–it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I don’t know whether it’s based solely on personal experience or from me watching fairytale movies whether they’re Disney or adult rom-coms, but, I definitely do believe love exists and believe I, too, am meant to fall in love again, at least (hopefully) once more.

Before I fell in love for my first time when I was 17 I thought people could only fall in love once. And I think a part of me thought that because I thought my (then) boyfriend and I would get that “happily-ever-after” I had always dreamed of. But when we broke up, and at that (still somewhat young) age, I wasn’t able yet to recognize that everything happens for a reason. Yes, it broke my heart and I was devastated, and didn’t think I would be able to love again or move on at the time–but, as time went on and I got older, I realized not just my life but, any person in general who has had their heart broken, has so much more to gain and learn about themselves and life in general in the “healing” and “moving on” process.

I didn’t see it at first at the time as I truly thought my world and life as I knew it was over but, I am thankful and grateful for having been able to love and experienced my own heartbreak for I would not be the woman I am today–the woman I was meant to be–without having experienced it.

But, flash forward to now–here I am at 26 years old, more than ready to fall in love again. I hope to not experience heartbreak again but should life have it happen that way then I accept it. Plus, I know heartbreak can come in forms beyond just love, and thankfully based on my past experience I can now accept it better should it happen again.

But at my age and my status in life–living and working in a completely new area–where is one to find a nice, single, decent guy?

I’m sure some people reading this think I’m being too picky. And sure, maybe I am. But, I believe so deeply and passionately about love, that I want to date, hell–hopefully marry–someone who feels just the same. Love is much too precious to me to be thrown around so casually. I don’t despise people who throw the word around loosely but, I personally wouldn’t throw it around loosely at my age and in this day. Because like I said, I was able to experience love firsthand myself at once before. And the age I was doesn’t affect my feelings and belief towards it. Some people may shake their head in disbelief that I could feel such a way at 17 but, as someone whose own parents are high school sweethearts and got married when they were that age, I think it’s perfectly fine and acceptable for me to feel and think the way I do.

And while I haven’t yet found that special someone, that doesn’t go to say I haven’t tried. Like I mentioned above, I’ve tried “meeting” people out at the bar–I.e. Us both tips-ily (if that was a real word, lol) flirting or simply talking with one another but, it didn’t extend beyond a casual exchange of numbers and one polite follow up text the next day.

And then of course there’s the whole world of online dating. Where do I begin with that? I am a supporter of online dating and definitely don’t see anything weird, or “abnormal” about it like some others may view it as. But, to be honest, I think my in-person awkwardness translates to the online world, too, lol. Again, some may say I’m being too picky but, I can’t imagine not setting the bar high enough and ending up with a “Barney”. (See: Clueless) I for one value education dearly, and while I understand and accept some people go on to live fantastic, perfectly great lives without a college degree, etc. I want someone who can atleast appreciate the effort of trying. If there’s another thing I learned in life it’s that nothing worth having comes easy. I am thankful to have parents who showed me that hard work will allow you to be successful and provide an opportunity for growth. I am proud of myself, and for both my parents and my entire family, for always being my cheerleaders along the way, pushing my to finish college strong, or any goal for that matter, regardless of how long it took–like to graduate. (I took an extra 5th year but, I finished)

I want to date someone who has that same motivation and determination I did and do, whether or not there’s a group of cheerleaders behind him. But of course, I do hope he does have a great support system, because that’s just as important to me.

You see, I am close with my family. I love my family and truly can’t imagine calling any other group of people my family. I am blessed and fortunate enough to be the youngest of six kids and have several nieces, nephews, great-nieces, etc. And that’s another huge thing for me when looking for Mr. Right, a.k.a. my Prince Charming–they have to value family as much as me. The truth is, if you don’t have family at the end of the day, who else can you lean and rely on?

I could go on and on about the qualities I look for in a guy. Sure, like I said, some people may say I’m too picky or this, this or that, but, at the end of the day I am happy with my life, working my dream job, and experiencing this new town and city. Obviously I would love to find a companion to share in this crazy adventure with me but, until then I’ll enjoy the ride solo.

So until next time…

XO,

Ana

Never chase love, affection or attention…

Why do we do this?

Both men and women. Boys and girls.

alexandgigi

Trust me, I’ve seen He’s Just Not That Into You, enough to know when a guy is not interested.

And yet, I, like the main character, Gigi, continue “chasing” after these guys like they’re something extremely special and think maybe, just maybe he’ll come to his senses and like me back.

Psh!

WRONG!

But it’s not just me, no. I see it all the time in movies, television–real life.

And I always wonder, why do women do that to themselves, and guys the same?

Like Alex says in the movie, if a guy likes you, he will make it clear. He won’t play “games”.

You’re probably wondering why I am even writing about this, right?

Well, because I believe not only do I deserve the best and shouldn’t be “chasing” after men who clearly aren’t interested, but, neither should other men and women.

I firmly believe in soulmates and so I got to thinking that perhaps it’s not working out with the current men in my life because my soulmate is still out there.

Okay, so it sounds cheesy and not everyone believes in soulmates, but, I do. I believe in that happily-ever-after with the right person… At the right time.

Ah, time. That brings me to my next thought.

Why is everything about timing?

clock

I’ve spent the past few years being single, for the most part enjoying it.

After all, I was and still am young while (currently still) being single and it’s allowed me to not only grow as an individual, but, also made me realize what I will and won’t settle for in a relationship.

But fast forward to the present and I see all these people I know dating, living together, getting engaged and married; having kids. Like, when did that become the thing to do? Am I missing out? Did I miss some memo?

I’m not saying I’m ready right this second to move in with someone or even get engaged right off the bat, but, seeing everyone living this way, it makes me question if I’m right where I should be at this very moment in my life right now.

My point is, while I’m sure the people who are dating each other, living with each other and getting married are (hopefully for the long run) meant to be, what about the rest of us?

I’m not meaning for this to be a pity party, no. I’m just sick and tired of not just myself but other men and women putting themselves out there only to be rejected. Like if you’re not interested in someone, make it clear, lay it out flat. Otherwise, that person is left thinking maybe there could be some spark ignited while that person knows damn well it will never progress to anything more.

Sure, the truth will hurt, but, I’d rather hear the truth and hurt for a little while than be lied to and think in my head something will progress into something more when it really won’t.

telling-the-truth-quotes-7

Besides, isn’t honesty the best policy, anyway? I think it is. I mean sure, people tell white lies every now and then, usually to spare someone’s feelings, but, when it comes to the dating world and men and women, I think it’s important to be up front.

If not, then, you must be into playing games. And I tell ya, after how long I’ve been single, the last thing I have time for is games.

Yes, I am still young, but, like I’ve said, I’ve had the time to think about what I really want out of not just life in general but, in a relationship too. I want someone who’s just as crazy about me as I am about them. I want someone who loves me for me and doesn’t care if I dance like a fool when a good song comes on Pandora, or don’t want to interact with people until I’ve had coffee. Someone who understands it takes me at least two hours to get ready. I can get ready in less than that, but, I like to lolly gag and dance like a fool to Pandora, lol.

I want someone who appreciates my quirks, supports my dream of being a reporter, enjoys big families and doesn’t mind my family’s uniqueness (lol). I want someone who not only enjoys this but, can handle it.

Perhaps I may be asking for too much but, I know there are people out there in the world who ask and have received much more so, really, I don’t think I am asking for too much. But again, maybe I am, hence why I am still single.

In the mean time I am going to continue pursuing my dream of being a reporter–work on my professional life–and, you know, still be on the online dating scene, and I guess the real world dating scene, even if my prospects are just average. Who knows? I told myself earlier this year that this year is the year of taking chances so, I am going to try my best to be even more open when it comes to dating but, at the same time, not just being open for the sake of being open. I gotta draw the line somewhere, right?

Ah, until next time…

XO,

Ana