college – ThirtySomething Shenanigans

February 25, 2016February 26, 2016

Where there is love there is life…

It’s 11 o’clock on a Thursday night, thinking I should be exhausted from a long work week, but am not.

This week’s been super short due to having Monday off as well as getting an early release yesterday and the whole day off today due to the weather. So, today I decided to be somewhat productive–after, of course, I got caught up on my TV shows I’ve missed these past few weeks.

So, my hair wand styling tool decided to quit working so naturally I had to go buy a new one, right? Which I did, at Sally’s, and then after that I went to Target to print off some pictures to update the ones currently in my frame on the wall. But you know when it comes to Target it’s never just one thing you LEAVE Target with. No, no, no. I also had on my list of things to buy: nylons, a candle to go in my new candle holder I bought in Nashville and deodorant. But, did I leave with just that? Of course not. Why? Because Target is a trap and that’s what they do to you–make you leave its store with not only what you actually came for but a lot more as well. And sometimes you don’t even leave with what you came for–you just leave with 50 other things you definitely DIDN’T need. But, that’s another story, and not the point of this one.

So, I get home to put away my new stuff only to realize that I must organize some other things in my room to make space for the new stuff. As I start moving things around and dusting, I realize just how much stuff I have. Random stuff. Random stuff I don’t need, but, find myself always clinging on to because deep down I think I might be a hoarder. Not literally but, sometimes I wonder…

Anyway… So I am cleaning through stuff and putting a lot of stuff in a bag for my aunt to donate to the food bank she works at. Among the stuff I am going through I come across some old memories. Memories that made me smile and others that made me wish some people were still alive and physically here. But, more importantly, it made me realize how much I have changed and grown from a young girl to a young woman–someone, in my opinion, who is much different than the girl who used to wear white eyeliner and had those two pieces of random hair hanging in front of her face.

Oh yes, I was that girl. I used to be. Can you even picture it? (I have pictures to prove it, but, I’ll leave it to you using your imagination, lol) But, my point is, is that the woman who I I pictured myself to be one day when I grew up, isn’t who I am. It’s not an entirely bad thing, and now that I am older I understand “everything happening for a reason”, but, I am wondering just how long it will take me to understand the reasoning for why my life is actually the way it is versus how I imagined it to me.

I’m not saying I have a bad life, because I definitely do not. But, the younger me pictured the NOW me to be working my dream career as a journalist, being married and living with my future husband… Having and living that happily-ever-after. But guess what? That’s not my current reality. It’s definitely still my dream, but, I’m wondering why it hasn’t come true yet. Like, why did my life plan/goals not play how exactly how I wanted them to? I’ll never know.

love

So, focusing on the present, I still want to somehow make that dream of mine come true. Sure, it won’t match the timeline I had envisioned for myself when I was younger but if there’s another thing I learned in addition to everything happening for a reason, it’s my soulmate is out there some where. Probably sounds pretty crazy to some but, I firmly believe that the “man of my dreams” is out there just waiting to meet me.

Okay, so I sound like a cheesy romance movie or trashy romance novel but, you know what, I not only believe in love but, I LOVE love. Is it just me, or…?

I love the idea of love, the meaning of it and how it affects people–and not just romantically. It’s an amazing thing to experience by giving and receiving it.

Well, I for one am all about giving it. Now, if only I could find a man who would be willing to receive it and give it back…

Alright, so I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that I’ve been playing the single field for some time now and while in college there were countless possibilities of eligible bachelors, I spent my time focused on school, other things.

Looking back now, I think maybe in the back of my mind I thought my then ex and I might get back together, or, maybe I just felt like trying to find a man on a college campus was asking for too much (and I was being too picky), but, for whatever reason, I just didn’t hook anyone with my bait, if you will. LOL. Well, flash forward to over a year and a half since I’ve graduated and moved back to my hometown, trying to land a full-time job in my field, I wonder, now where am I supposed to meet people?

Through mutual friends? The bar? Online? By chance?

I’ve experienced all of the above but, none have panned out… Which, makes me wonder and question–Am I seriously going to be single forever?

Okay, so it sounds a little crazy but, try to understand that I’ve been single for a loooong time. Okay, so sure, there are people out there who live their whole lives being single and are totally fine. And people who haven’t been single their whole lives but still have been single longer than me.

But, like I mentioned above, I love love, and I want love. I want that head-over-heels kind of love, and I truly believe I’m meant to experience and have it. Others might not agree but, it doesn’t matter what they think–only what I do.

But I wonder after trying to meet men through mutual friends, at the bar, and by chance, where in the world AM I supposed to meet them?

Is there some way/somewhere I completely missing, simply just having bad luck or destined to be single for forever?

Now, there are a couple things I must share in regards to online dating, as it was brought to my attention when one of my friends posted it to her social media last week. She made some very valid points and I agreed with almost all of them. But, then it got me to thinking… Maybe that’s what was deterring men from me and vice versa? Not to say that’s what the case was for her though, no.

But the points she made about online dating were as follows (not exact word-for-word) and they just made me think, WOW! BAM! Nailed it on the head…

* Disclaimer: I am in no way dissing online dating. I’ve been on sites in the past and am on some right now.

A first impression is everything. Before you even message me you better have some clear, solid pictures of YOU. I don’t mind if you have some pictures with your friends, as I do too, but, if you don’t have at least one, preferably two, pictures that clearly shows who you are then… Don’t waste your time messaging me. Online dating is hard enough and I don’t want to spend the extra time trying to figure out what man is you. Also, if you have a girl in your picture and you don’t say who she is then… Yeah, sorry, a turn off for me. AND also… The weird blur outs or “stickers” over people’s faces too=WEIRD. Or if you don’t have ANY pictures=EVEN WEIRDER. But anyway, moving on…
Physical appearances aren’t and shouldn’t be everything but, let’s face it, it does play a role in relationships, and especially in the online dating world. That sounds conceited but, let’s be honest. I can only assume how many guys passed over me because physically I wasn’t their type. Sure, it sucks, but, I know there are countless more guys out there to pick from who may just find me to be exactly what they’re looking for. But, same goes for me. If I don’t think there is a physical attraction, then it will be hard for me to pursue the relationship further. And I don’t just say this in regards to online dating–even in real life there’s got to be some chemistry and physical attraction to the other person. Okay, so maybe I sound like a total conceited bitch, but, I know other people out there think this same thing but won’t say it. It’s fine. Moving on…
If someone messages me and I don’t respond, or if I message someone and they don’t respond–what to do=MOVE ON. I’ve had a handful of guys message me, only to look at their profile afterward and see there is no way we have anything in common. I just think it’s weird, sorry. Like I mentioned above–there are plenty of people to pick from so move on to the next one in hopes that person will message you back.
If you’re going to take a chance and message me (hoping you at least skimmed my profile but if not, well then) then at least have it be something substantial. For example, I got a message from someone the other day whose profile picture was a MEME and it was his ONE AND ONLY picture asking if I had Snapchat. I read it and thought, “I sure do, but, in no way in hell am I going to give you my username. Creep!” Yeah, I deleted that message real quick. Like I said, have it be something that can keep a conversation going.
I will never understand why guys insist on asking/saying “how can someone as pretty/beautiful as you be single?” I don’t know, pal. YOU tell me… Enlighten me, if you will.

So, there’s definitely more I could say about online dating, but, I’m sure some people are reading this and are thinking, “Well, gee, it’s no wonder you’re still single.” Yeah, yeah, I get it. Maybe I’m being way too harsh but, if there’s something I learned from my first serious relationship is that I refuse to settle–in anything in life, but, especially in love.

…Of course I have people tell me all the time how my “Mr. Right”/”Prince Charming” will come along in my life when I’m not looking and when I least expect it but, um, hello? I’ve been trying to live that life for the past how many years and here I am… STILL SINGLE.

It’s been partly by choice, but, more recently, I’ve realized I’m ready to date someone for the long-run and maybe, hopefully, settle down with him someday. Of course, that alone probably deters some guys from dating me as not all guys are ready to settle down or are even looking for something long-term. Which is fine, too. Hell, I’d be happy if someone just wanted to take me out on a date or, simply just hang out and enjoy my company. Sure, I have amazing friends and family who are great company themselves, but, I also would like a male companion as company too.

Which begs the question… Where is a 25-year-old single woman supposed to meet people?

I’m still on the online dating scene, but, nothing seriously potential from it yet.

I’ve tried meeting people at the bar and well, everyone’s inhibitions go out the door and we all know how that goes…

I’ve met people through mutual friends and it just doesn’t pan out.

So single men and women… Where do the single people of the universe meet the others? And, how I do approach a single man?

I blog about this not just for the sake of myself, but, because I know there are other single people out there, possibly reading this, and probably (or potentially) thinking these same things.

And, well, if there aren’t, then pardon me, keep moving along…

My point of this blog is to share that I am open and ready for a relationship–but more importantly, love. As an example, my parents are high school sweethearts and have been married 40+ years and I want a love like that–that lasts forever, through good times and tough.

So, while I continue waiting for my Mr. Right/Prince Charming to come along in my life (or continue seeking him out in the form of meeting at a bar, through mutual friends, online, etc), I’ll be living my life same as always: blogging, working on reaching my ultimate career goal of becoming a reporter, eating Chipotle, drinking Starbucks and watching too much Law and Order: SVU.

I mean, if that doesn’t rock some guy’s socks off, then, I don’t know what will. LOL! 😉

Until next time…

XO,
Ana

January 3, 2016January 3, 2016

The best way to predict your future is to create it…

I got dolled up for NYE 2016 knowing already I was going to be one overdressed woman. But, as one of my older sisters said, you can never be too formal for NYE. So, I went with it and chose the dress that was not only comfortable but that I felt like a princess in. And I was very much treated like a princess that day as my other older sister was nice enough to curl my hair… Since whenever I try to do it, like today, it turns out nothing like it should. HA! Plus I had the sparkling jewelry, shoes and purse to match. 🙂

Anyway, so the plan was to meet up at a friend’s apartment beforehand and later head to Dublin in EL. Well, we thought we left at an appropriate time but it turns out we didn’t. The line wasn’t even that long but bouncer at the door told us they were at capacity.

My friends and I peered in the windows of the building and it seemed nowhere near capacity. We questioned whether we should bear the cold longer than we already had until we heard no new people would be let in until HALFTIME of the big game. After that we weighed our options and low-and-behold, ended up at Rick’s across the street.

Of course my natural reaction was horror, as I had been there ONCE before, and that in my opinion was enough. But, I wanted to stay with my friends and didn’t want to be too much of a negative Nancy so I went with it. And later in the night and the following day, I realized just how much fun I had. It wasn’t my top place to ring in the New Year 2016, but, in the end I was just happy with WHO I was with and NOT where I was at.

I am grateful to have rung in another year with my best friends. It’s funny, my brother, mom and I were having a conversation about something the other day and my brother asked, “You and your friends never fight?” It may seem weird but my response was, “No.” Sure, we may get on each other’s nerves at time but, we never full on ever argue or anything like that. To some that may not seem “normal” but, you know what, I’m perfectly content with not being normal.

NYE20161 — Cassie, Me & Sarahann on NYE 2016

Our friendship started back (now this year) 13 years ago… And how we all have remained this close–to be honest, I am not sure–but damnit, I’m glad and grateful we did. We all went to different colleges, but our friendship never once changed. We dated people, got involved on campus and became busy with things and people outside of our friendship but once we were all back in town it was as if nothing ever changed. And to this day, it still hasn’t. I feel very fortunate that it hasn’t either. I don’t think most people can say that about a friendship.

Of course on NYE our group was missing a few, but, they were with us in spirit–off celebrating elsewhere–but it doesn’t matter if we’re physically together everyday, we can still pick up right where we left out.

Now I will be honest, there are times where I do worry that some day, in the far, far future we may drift apart–not because we necessarily want to but because we will grow older and other priorities will begin to take focus in life. But, if there’s anything I learned in life it’s to focus on the NOW. Don’t dwell on the past, don’t worry about the future. And I’m going to try my best to do that in 2016.

I’m not sure what the future holds for me this year, or the next, or the year after that, but one thing is for sure–it’ll be what I make of it.

Next week I start my internship at HOMTV, which I am SUPER excited about. As some may or may not know, my previous news job didn’t work out but, it just means the job wasn’t the right fit for me and that my dream job and job that IS MEANT for me is still out there waiting for me. And, I have a feeling this internship will teach me even more to ensure I am well-equipped for my next job afterward.

Now, while of course I am excited about my professional life, I am also super excited about my personal life. It’s been awhile since I’ve dated, like a long while, which, why I am admitting, I have no idea, but, I’ve decided it’s time to step OUTSIDE of my comfort zone and not only take chances–but give chances to people as well. I never know who I may meet who could just be the love of my life. I love love and am a firm believer in it, and believe my “soulmate” is out there. Some people may not believe in soulmates or love and think it’s lame or cheesy that I do but it’s who I am and that’s something that’ll never change.

So, here is to a fresh start, clean slate–whatever you want to call it. I wish whoever is reading this a happy and healthy new year. Know that this year, your life, is what YOU make of it. So be like me, and don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. I am going to try my best to do so this year and see what comes of it.

Until next time…

XOXO,

Ana

August 10, 2015August 10, 2015

Advice for incoming freshmen preparing for college…

Six years ago I was packing up everything I could fit into suitcases, bags and boxes to get ready for the move up to Mount Pleasant, Michigan. It would be a matter of days before I began my first day of my first semester at Central Michigan University. I was sad to be leaving behind my friends and even more so, my family, but I also couldn’t wait for what was ahead for me. As a new school year is set to begin for returning college students and a brand new, first school year for incoming freshmen, I thought I would share some ways you can prepare yourself for that transition.

Buy a planner/get one for free at campus (at CMU they gave them away)
I can’t stress the importance of a planner enough. Some students may think they have a great memory, which they might, but between everything else that goes on at college (football games, parties, extra-curriculars) it can be tough to remember what day and for what class you have an upcoming exam for or project due. I had a planner and I used it all the time–l used it so often that I did color-coding with pens and highlighters. I was a bit obsessive. You don’t have to be as obsessive as I was but it is definitely handy to have a planner to write down important dates and meetings.
Make sure your classes don’t overlap/make sure you have enough time to get between classes
While some professors simply don’t care or have the attention span to notice if you’re absent from class, others do, and will even even just tardies against you if you make being late become a habit. In college it isn’t required for you to go to class like it was in high school and before that, but, when you don’t show up it will inevitably hurt you. Most of the classes I took the professor offered 3 unexcused absences before he/she started counting them against you. Although some professors don’t even allow that. So be sure to plan your classes accordingly and actually GO to them ALL the time.
Invest in a few staple pieces of clothing
I’m not saying you need to dress up fancy for every single class–and you can actually even go in pajamas if you wish (I never did, but, to each their own)–but, you’ll be happy you wore something other than fuzzy printed pajama pants for your solo or group presentation and/or club meeting(s), etc.
Talk with your roommate(s) to make sure you don’t end up with doubles of items in the dorm room
You don’t need more than one microwave, mini-fridge, shower curtain, shower caddy, multiple lamps etc. Plus, checking in with your roommates before gives you the chance to get to know them a bit before sharing the same corridor with them.
Take the time to walk around campus before classes start
Depending on the size of your campus and number of classes you’re taking you’ll be thankful in the end if you spent time prior to classes starting getting to know the layout of the campus.
Read the syllabus for your classes
As crazy as it may sound, some professors post the syllabus for his/her class several weeks in advance. It’ll have important information such as if a textbook is required, office days/hours, exam dates, etc. Plus, if you have that planner I mentioned earlier, you can write it all down so it’s easily accessible later on.
Do proper grocery shopping
It can be easy to get caught up eating Ramen noodles and leftovers from the night before, but, trust me that there will be times you wish you were eating a home cooked meal, especially when it’s still a ways from a holiday break when you can actually go home for a properly cooked meal. It’s fine to indulge in junk food every once in awhile (or more than that for me, oops) but freshman 15 is real if you let it be. 😉 Also, like #4, be sure to talk with your roommate(s), if you wish, to decide what you guys will be sharing/buying or not sharing/buying so you don’t have doubles of everything or eat food that isn’t meant for the other. Set some ground “rules”, if you wish.
Bring sentiments from home but, don’t go overboard
Depending how far you live from your college and how often you plan on going home, it could be a few months before you see your friends and family again so it’s important to bring items/pictures that you remind you of them until you get to see them again. Pictures are always a great choice and also can serve as decor, or something small like a trinket. For example, my grandma bought me a tiny giraffe trinket to remind me of her because her favorite animal is a giraffe. 🙂 It was the perfect treasure.
Take advantage of the various events held before classes start–they tend to give away FREE stuff. And who doesn’t love free stuff?
At CMU they have different events that give away freebies like planners, coupons, etc. (I can’t think of specifics right now, lol, sorry) and like I said, who doesn’t love free stuff? Plus, it’s a great way to meet other students who will be there and make plans for welcome weekend.
Don’t forget to fit in fun along the way
Obviously your main goal in college is to be successful and pass your classes and eventually graduate, but, don’t forget to fit in some fun along the way. And as the saying goes, “If it’s something you’ll regret in the morning, sleep late.”

Tell me, what advice do YOU have for incoming freshmen/returning students at college? I know I didn’t add everything they should know but, I tried to highlight what I personally thought were the most important. In the end, regardless of how much or little you are prepared for college, enjoy every single moment because it truly does go by in the blink of an eye–even for me, who was in college an extra year beyond the traditional four.

Until next time…

XO,

Ana