My Life Has Changed And I’m Changing With It…

Well, hello, readers!

Remember me?

It’s been a minute… like, a long, over a year minute, since I’ve last blogged. And let me tell you, a lot has happened since then.

Like the fact I GOT ENGAGED! πŸ™‚

I said, “yes” to spending forever with the man of my dreams, whom I’ve longed for for as long as I can remember.

And I also said, “yes” to bariatric surgery. Oh, and getting a puppy.


Writing this now I am officially down 36 lbs!

And for those of you reading this, shaking your head in disapproval that I took the “easy way out” — let me tell you, there has been nothing easy about this journey whatsoever.

But, more about that later.

First, let me spill all the mushy, romantic details on how my Mr. Right proposed to me. πŸ™‚

What made it special was that it was just us two. At our home. (Awww, another thing — he moved in with me earlier this year.) And it was every bit romantic.

See, I have a love for Paris. Why? I don’t really know, considering I’ve never even been, but, from what I’ve seen on TV and in magazines and online, it’s definitely a spot I hope to cross off my bucket list some day.

Anyway, so our house has a Paris theme — particularly our bedroom. And he proposed to me in our bedroom so it could be like we were actually in Paris. And of course, there were ugly tears and all.

I, of course, knew it was coming. πŸ˜‰ But, I won’t go into details about that, lol.

But, he proposed, I said yes, and then we quickly shared the news with both our parents and the rest of our family and friends.

Even though I knew it was coming, a huge wave of “relief” if you will, washed over me. Like I could finally let out a big, deep breath that my wait for Prince Charming was officically over.

OK, so it was technically over when we first started dating, but, I feel like the engagement really, really solidified our commitment to each other forever. And after dating the guys I did before him, well, they really did a number on my self-worth and made me question continuously if I really did deserve true love.

Well, now that I’m older and wiser, I know damn well I do.

Even though I still have my moments of doubt from time to time, Ryan always assures me that he loves me and that he’s not going anywhere. And I know this to be true, especially after he’s seen me at my absolute worst. But mind you, he’s also seen me at my absolute best. πŸ™‚

So here we are, 7 months later, happily engaged. We have a date set for August 2022. The venue, photographer, DJ and videographer have all been booked. We have our bridal party. Bridesmaids dresses checked off. Now to work on the hotel accommodations , dinner menu, cake, wedding favors, center pieces and all the other little details.

It’s been a whirlwind to say the least. But, again, I am happy to have found my happily-ever-after. There was a long period where I didn’t think I would, or that I was even worthy of such a magical kind of love that I’d always seen on TV/movies and in books. So cheesy, I know, but, I was convinced of the aforementioned and that I was destined to be single forever. Not that there’s anything wrong with being single of course, but, I had longed to fall in love and get married. And now, here I am. πŸ™‚

So thank you, sincerely, to all of those who told me all along that one day, when the timing was right, I’d find my Mr. Right and I would finally understand why it didn’t work out with the other guys I dated. I doubted yuou all for so long and thought y’all were crazy, so… πŸ˜‰

Plus, in a weird sense, I have to thank those guys, too, for showing me what love isn’t and breaking my heart. Also, for the record, the previous guys I dated are not bad guys. Of course, there was a time period where that’s all I thought and I wished them ill, but, now that, again, I am older and wiser, I learned it takes far too much energy to despise someone. Plus, they’re off living their best lives (well, best for them), so why was I not out there living mine? I thank them for breaking my heart so I could finally set forth on the path to finding my Mr. Right. And while it was a bumpy ride, it was worth it in the end. πŸ™‚

Now onto my other exciting, life-changing news.

I had gastric sleeve surgery August 30 and I am officially down 36 lbs from what I weighed the day of surgery. It’s been a challenging journey, to say the least. There have been so many times I’ve cried, yelled, wanted to throw in the towel and wish I could un-do the surgery. I questioned, was this really worth it?

The first few weeks post surgery were rough. So for the first two weeks, it was liquids only, which meant protein shakes, broth, creamed soup and popsicles. And as you can imagine, those get old pretty quick. Then, for the two weeks after that, it was those things plus pureed foods… so, mashed potatoes, lots and lots of mashed potatoes and pureed chicken, which, as you can imagine visually what it looked like, was not appetizing. then, after that was “soft” foods, which included lean chicken, cheese and eggs. Oh my gosh, you guys, you have no idea how excited and happy I was to be able to have these things. Normally I don’t particularly crave eggs. I mean, I’ll eat them, but, it’s not like I’m like OMG I want these every day. But, when you’re limited on what you can have, being able to finally have eggs felt like I hit the lottery.

Fast forward to week 6–which meant REAL FOODS! Y’all, I thought I might never make it. I mean, I cried more times than I care to count about how I wish I’d never done the “stupid” surgery and how I’d rather be fat than be deprived of the foods I love. But, as time’s gone on, that mindset has thankfully shifted.

I will admit, it’s still definitely hard some days. While I’ve been fortunate enough to not have any major side effects from eating regular good, it’s been a process reminding myself to eat slower and that it’s OK to have leftovers. That’s probably been the biggest thing — being OK with having leftovers. Because mentally, I think I should be able to finish a plate, so I try, but, then I’m left feeling violently ill. Thankfully I haven’t thrown up from eating too much, but, the other end was not so nice to me, lmao.

Overall, I am happy I stuck with it. I’m happy I went through it. You guys have no idea how scared I got the closer it got to surgery and even the day of surgery. The anesthesiologist came to talk to me and he was like do you have any questions or anything and I said dead serious: Don’t let me die. And then proceeded to cry.

I’d never undergone surgery and so that was my biggest fear. He then felt terrible and was like, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I assured him it was fine and then before I knew it (well, after almost 2 hours total, lol) I was being whisked away to surgery.

The surgery went by fast. I thought. I mean, I don’t remember it, obviously, but, it didn’t seem like much time had gone by by the time I woke up. I think Ryan said I was in surgery for about an hour, or maybe a little more. But, I remember when I woke up and the nurses were trying to talk to me, asking how I was doing, and the anesthesia was still wearing off. It was so frustrating. I could hear and understand them but I couldn’t physically say anything. You know those dreams where you’re screaming, but, no one can hear you? Yeah, it was like that.

Overall, the surgery went all. I ended up being more scared than what was necessary. And since then I’ve been doing well, too. πŸ™‚ So well, Ryan and I decided to treat ourselves and…


Oh… my… gosh. Has little Miss Delilah Mae given us a run for our money. So, for the longest time I’ve wanted a dog. And after talking about it with Ryan, we thought that getting a dog would help with my depression and anxiety. I don’t know if Delilah has helped it or worsened it. LOL, kidding. Sort of. So, I found Delilah, nameless, on a website called Hoobly. I had heard of it before and knew some people personally who’d had good luck on the site. I figured since they did, I should, too, right? Anyway, I find this dog and she’s just as sweet looking as can be. I reach out to the poster who lived about an hour away expressing my interest in the dog.

Originally, Ryan and I were interested in a boy, but, then the seller ended up selling him without letting Ryan and me know (I had to ask again) so I was like fine, we’ll take the girl if she’s still available. Well, we had planned on going to look at her on a Saturday. On the Tuesday before, I just sensed that we needed to act sooner or the girl would be sold, too, so, then we had agreed on Thursday. But again, felt this sense of urgency so I was like we’ll come tomorrow, Wednesday. Then, low and behold, we ended up bringing our sweet Delilah home. Well, cue the next day… My niece, who has experience with rescue dogs, discovered she had fleas. -_- When we picked up Delilah I thought she smelled like a farm and looking back, I wish I’d known better. But, to make a long-ish story short, we think she came from a puppy mill. I was never able to see where she lived before because the seller had us meet him at a Walmart. (At the time I didn’t think anything of it; I thought, oh good, now he can’t murder us or something, lol.) So, that was a lot to deal with. Frustrating, to say the least. But, of course, we couldn’t be mad at her because after all, it wasn’t her fault. I of course, maturely reached out to the seller and was like hey, she has fleas, just thought you should known (since I knew he had other dogs left to sell) and he never responded so, it was that lack of answer that I knew he knew this. It is what it is but, it was definitely a learning experience. Stressful, but, she’s been worth it. Mostly, lol. Keeps us busy and on our toes for sure.

Which, can be hard… especially since I recently was confirmed with having sleep apnea. I tell ya, it’s been an eventful 2021, hasn’t it? πŸ˜‰ So, that’s a whole thing… Got myself a CPAP machine and let me tell you, how the heck do they expect people to sleep with these things on? Tonight will be my third night with it and while last night was better than the first, I know it’ll take some getting used to to getting a good night’s sleep with this damn thing on. So, wish me luck. And also, keep your fingers crossed that as I continue to lose weight that my apnea will dissipate and I won’t need my CPAP machine for forever.

Anyway, that’s all for now… Hopefully it won’t be too long before I get another post up here. Maybe 2022 will finally be the year I can and will update this regularly. Guess we’ll see. πŸ˜‰

Until next time…



Elan Mudrow


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